The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘King Tut’

Egyptian Slaves Discussing the New Pharaoh’s Name

– Hey Jimmy, how’s it going?
– Frank! I didn’t know you had work today!
– Hahaha.
– Hahahaha. Yep … maybe I’ll have tomorrow off, eh?
– Boy. If it wasn’t for the sun and over-work making me delusional, the grind of work would really be depressing.
– Let’s change the subject.
– Well, that’s a great idea!
– What should we talk about?
– Hmmm …
– Oh!
– Oh!?
– OH!! Did you hear!?
– Hear what?!
– Hear about the new Pharaoh!
– Wait, what?
– Yeah!
– When did this happen!?
– Last week sometime, man … But no, that’s not the big news. He chose his name!
– Ooooh! Really?
– Yep!
– Is it a good one?
– Well … I know how you felt about the last guy.
– Dear old “Amun is pleased”?
– Yep.
– Don’t get me started …
– Do you think it was … Oh I don’t know, cocky?
– ARGH! YES! … You brought this lecture on yourself …
– By all means, I enjoy hearing it.
– Ok. So. His predecessor had “Lord of the truth is Ra.” I liked that! I thought it was great! It was a name, but it was more than that. It was a message. You’d wake up and think, “wait, who’s the Lord of the truth? Oh yeah! Ra! Thanks, Pharaoh!” But then we had Mr. “Amun is pleased” and … I mean, just COME. ON.
– You sure you’ll be able to handle the new Pharaoh’s name?
– Oh no.
– Keep in mind he’s just a kid, so …
– Just tell me!
– It’s … “Living image of Amun.”
– …
– Yep.
– The … PHARAOH … The pharaoh! … Is the living image of Amun?
– (Nods head)
– Amun! Amun, as in the champion of the poor or troubled? Not to mention a figure central to personal piety!
– That Amun.
– The removed-from-any-work-Pharaoh is the living image … of Amun … That’s just great.
– Hahaha … I know it stinks, buddy, but if it makes you feel better, I love hearing about how much you hate the irony.
– I hope it turns out Amun had really bad acne. Stupid boy king.

Thanks wikipedia for all my knowledge about this.

Nebmaatre Amenhotep III The Magnificent King: name means Lord of the truth is Ra
Neferkheperure-waenre Amenhotep IV/Akhenaten: original name means “Amun is pleased.”
Tutankhamun means “Living Image of Amun”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_pharaohs

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Short Short Stories

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Her, Me, and the Troll

“Brad how was the date!?”
“Well … it was kind of weird with the three of us there.”
“THREE of you!?!?!”
“Yeah … her, me, and the troll.”
“Hahaha grossssss.”

Now for an explanation. When I was in Europe with Juicebox last year the Troll was created. Well, not created … Juicebox let out an impressive war cry of a burp one night and I said, “wow … the Troll has spoken.” Or something to that effect. The Troll was born. The Troll is who is in charge of any of our delightful bodily functions, including the sometimes frightening, sometimes funny stomach growls.

I recently got a text from a certain friend that read, “the troll just had a soliloquy.” Excellent text.

We enjoy making jokes about the Troll. It’s good clean fun for the whole family.

I just got back from a date (that may or may not have gone well – she was hard to read), and I thought of this joke on the way home. The Troll didn’t actually join us on the date, but I am looking forward to saying this to my friends at work tomorrow.

Yes, I sometimes pre-plan jokes. It’s inevitable with the way my brain spends 90% of its time making bad jokes in my head.

For example, Airplanes, Rainbow Speak, Happy C (a new friend!? unheard of!) and I went to an exhibit this past Friday at the Museum of Fine Arts here in Houston. The King Tut exhibit is in town, so on Friday nights they have little snackums and some drinks, and you can check out the glory that is the Tutster (a couple posts will probably come from dumb jokes I thought of while there). While showering before the event, I thought of a joke. I was excited for the pained expressions that this joke would draw.

“Hey guys, we are SOOOOOphisticated.”
“Pained lawlz …” (Loose interpretation of how they reacted.)
“But I would say I’m the mostphisticated.”
“Many much pained lawlz.” (Verbatim reaction? Maybe …)

I think my friends kind of laughed at the joke (a testament to how nerdy we are).

Anywho. Now to debate if I should send a follow-up “had a good time!” text. These kids and their text messages and their dating and what-not-have-you. I just can’t keep up.

(Yes, I know the title of this post is incorrect grammar. As Steve Martin said, “comedy is not pretty” … sometimes grammar is the victim.)

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Weekly Wacko

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De Jour of the Week (12/20/09)

12/20/09

I wrote this a while ago (right after my parents’ visit in early October) so I want to go ahead and use it.

My parents were in town (sort of, we were more in San Francisco, and as part of the trip we wanted to do some good tourist activities. One of these activities was a visit to the De Young Museum, located in Golden Gate Park.

The main exhibit we went to see was a traveling one about King Tut.

Yes, the King Tut. You may have heard about him from Steve Martin.

Going through the exhibit I noticed a lot of things – how amazingly well kept a number of items were that were buried with King Tut (3200 years old!), the amount of effort and money that went into making these items, a cute girl going through the exhibit (I told her, “I’d like to explore your exhibit,” she said, “I’d rather be embalmed.”), a woman looking at the exhibit while holding the leash of her guide dog (that seriously happened – think about how little sense that makes), and the following phrase mentioned several times to explain items: ‘cosmic cow.’

Just what is the cosmic cow? Well … you look it up. (I tried and couldn’t find anything, but it really was there, it was mentioned in the Book of the Dead or some sort of cool sounding thing like that.)

If I’d seen something about a cow mentioned in the Book of the Dead I would’ve thought, ‘whatever, everyone digs a good burger.’ But a cosmic cow? You can’t eat that! It’s cosmic, man!

It got me thinking, though, what other common things would sound much more impressive by adding the word cosmic? This is a short list of just such things:

Cosmic Monkey (they’re adorrrrabllllle!)

Cosmic Ass Hole (you know the type)

Cosmic Diarrhea (side effect? Cosmic shame – and that’s a lot of shame)

Cosmic Erectile Dysfunction Disorder (no comment)

Cosmic Pimp (Looks good on a business card)

Cosmic Hangover (this makes you puke so much you puke childhood memories)

Cosmic Booty Call (tra la la, baby)

Cosmic Booty Call (don’t get me started)

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Du Jour of the Week

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