Concussions
If you follow the NFL, you’re aware that a big deal has been made about head-hunting hits (trying to hit guys helmet-to-helmet, that sort of thing). These are big, mean dudes flying really fast at other big, mean dudes. They’ve got pads and helmets on which they use as, essentially, tools to hit harder.
My opinion (just an opinion) is that it’s not a bad thing to limit crazy big hits. Yes, it’s fun to watch a guy light into another guy in football, but it’s not worth it if the damage delivered is severe.
Enough boring – now for my jokesy story. This is a football player and a doctor. The football player has suffered a concussion.
Concussions
Doc:Hey, how do you feel?
Player: Great. Absolutely great.
Doc: That’s good. No hangover effects from the concussion?
Player: From the what?
Doc: … The concussion.
Player: Hmm. It’s hard to understand you when you make up fake words, doc.
Doc: … Concussion?
Player: Xylophone.
Doc: I don’t understand.
Player: You make up a fake word like concussion, then I make up a fake word like xylophone.
Doc: I see.
Player: What’s your word mean? My word’s an instrument.
Doc: Ah, so … you received some brain damage, and I just wanted to see if you’re ok.
Player: Ohhhhh. Did my brother win, then?
Doc: Come again?
Player: We were playing some football for fun.
Doc: Let me guess, without helmets?
Player: What’s a helmet? Nah, I’m kidding, doc. But yeah, we weren’t wearing helmets.
Doc: (flips through charts) How many concussions HAVE you gotten over the years?
Player: (laughs) Doc, you keep talking about instruments! Concussions and xylophones. You want to form a band or something?
Doc: Do you know what year it is?
Player: Doc, you and I both know a bit about the brain. Every brain can hold 500 facts. If I had to remember the year, I’d forget about a play, and coach would be angry about that.
Doc: … I can’t tell if you’re joking.
Player: Listen, maybe I don’t know how to build a space ship or read, but I can hit a guy really hard, really fast.
Doc: And you can play the concussion pretty well.
Player: (laughs) Hell yeah I can, doc.
DumbFunnery 