The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘mechanic’

Not Really a Car Guy

I am taking my car in to be looked at soon and as someone who knows little to nothing about cars I have a feeling I will look like an idiot. (In the words of Mitch Hedburg: “I know a lot about cars. I can can look at a car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.”)

Here are a few possible conversational snippits:

Mechanic: And when’s the last time you got your tires rotated?
Me: Well … On the drive in here? I mean, every time I drive they get rotated, right?

 

Me: I am not sure why I’m here really … I mean, my car is an automatic, shouldn’t it be taking care of all this stuff by itself?

 

Mechanic: We’ve got a number of things we’d like to do: first we’re going to –
Me: Let me guess, give my car some pasta?
Mechanic: …What?
Me: I mean, why else would it need a carb-orator unless it eats a lot of carbs?! Huh? Amiright?
Mechanic: …
Me: Because it’s like a refrigerator but just for carbs.
Mechanic: Yeah …
Me: So … that’s funny …
Mechanic: … Right. We’ve got a number of things we’d like to do: first we’re going (etc, etc, stuff I don’t understand)

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

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Modern Day Mechanics

With the way computers are coming up so big, and people of all backgrounds are buying them – tech geeks are the modern day mechanics.

“Uhhh … hey, I have a question.”
“Yes, sir, how can I help you today?”
“Yeah … So … Uh … My computer … Um … Is always making noise. And I want it to stop.”
“Making noise, sir?”
“Yeah. Like … whirrrrr.”
“Sir?”
“Umm … ya know … it’ll just be sitting there and then … whirrrr.”
“Is this a laptop or a desktop?”
“It’s … uh … what’re … oh! It’s a lap – top.”
“You need a cooling fan. Aisle fourteen B.”
“A cooling fan?”
“Yes, sir.”
“What? What do you take me for? Are you guys just making up new parts all the time? This is –“
“We have a special right now, only fifteen dollars.”
“Oh … ok. Which aisle? Fourteen?”

Category:

Short Short Stories

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