The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘nuts’

My Zombie Roomy (11/15/10)

The Zombie has a way weirder sense of humor than I realized. Just nuts.

Last night I was all loopy because I was really sleepy. One of those giggly/sleepy times.

Anyway we were on the couch watching Legend of the Seeker (I’m a little bit in love with the Mother Confessor?). The Zombie kind of likes her, too. I think he doesn’t realize it’s a TV show, so it might just be respect for her magic and whatnot.

I said, “hey Zombigus, if you saw her at a bar by herself what would you say to her?”

The Zombie looked down and it looked like he maybe had a slight grin, then he turned his head away from me a little bit and I thought – oh this is going to be good!

Then he looked back and he had removed a tooth! He was holding it up and doing this sort of debonair look, like, “I brought you this fancy drink.” Except it was a tooth.

I was shocked, then I saw him grinning, and I just started cracking up.

A tooth! I’m not sure if it would work, but it’d be memorable and that’s half the battle right?

Weekly Wacko (45)

Coming Clean

I’m going to tell you something not many people know.

What’s the big secret?

My cat’s name.

Her name … is (was) Nuts.

Nuts, the cat.

She got this name because she was crazy, aka bonkers, aka loony, aka nuts.

I didn’t usually tell people her name, instead referring to her as “meowsers” or “the cat” because, here’s a surprise, most boys don’t think ‘synonym for crazy’ when they hear the word ‘nuts.’ I was going to say I started doing this when I was in elementary school – but I realized I did this even until college, when she died. That’s because boys are perpetually stupid. Girls too, but we’re better at it.

Our dog’s name is Chaser (she got the name from a Big Dog t-shirt – “The Unleashables”). Chaser is not embarrassing to admit to, but for the sake of uniformity I have pretty much always referred to the dog and cat, not by their names, but as “the dog” and “the cat.”

Sometimes “the dog” is also called, “the pooch,” “the pup” and “the mutt.”

There you have it, the cat’s out of the bag … (I should’ve written for Frasier).