The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘penguin’

Products and Their Sponsors, part 1

Baby Penguin: Mom?
Mother Penguin: Yes, darling.
Baby Penguin: You have such an original scent.
Mother Penguin: And you, my dear, are a dishwashing liquid.

Think that doesn’t make sense? I completely agree.

Dawn Soap

Advertising Executive 1: Let’s put penguins on the soap!
Advertising Executive 2: That doesn’t make any sense to me.
Advertising Executive 1: I’m your boss and I am in a weird place in my life where I want birds on things.
Advertising Executive 2: I love this plan!

Animal Facts! (Fox of the Courtney Variety, Penguin, Lion, Jelly Fish)

Everything you didn’t know about your favorite animals!

Fox, C

Goes by Courtney, Sweet Lips, Sugar Tits, or Chumbawumba.

Beat Texas in a staring contest.

Physically, doing ok. Emotionally, doing SEXY.

Didn’t get the joke you just made, so she turned it into a joke about bad gas in her head.

Is straight outta Compton.


Definite flirt. Acts as though they are unaware, but they totally are.

On the plus side they make the best snickerdoodle you’ll ever eat.

Love math jokes.

They tell great stories – but they’re always stories about ‘a guy I know.’

They like to shout “don’t pre-judge” then moon each other.


Hate, hate, hate the border patrol.

The most racially hyper-sensitive animal you’ll ever meet.

Hopes to be in corporate by next quarter.

Aren’t sure if you’re kidding when you’re being sarcastic.

Taller than you’d think.

Jelly Fish

Not nearly as funny as he thinks.

Says ‘shoot you an email’ sincerely.

No sense of tradition.

Into kinky stuff.

Smokes that tra-la-la.

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