The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘san francisco’

De Jour of the Week (2/13/10)

2/13/10
The Pedantic Poem

It’s Valentine’s and I’m feeling romantic
So I want to write you a simple poem to say how I feel – without big words like pedantic

We go together like a fat guy and bacon
And unless I’m mistaken
Our love is deeper than a pot heads desire for Fritos
Do you get the full effect of my affection in this prose?

We’re a better team than alcohol and karaoke
There’s nothing better than you and me

We’re more impressive than that steam that rises off bald black football players heads during cold games
To be near you, with you and around you are my only aims

We’re the total opposite of walking to a job interview in a fancy new suit and having a bird crap on your head
You’re the last thought i have before I go to bed

Our love is stronger than a scary con on steroids
I like you so much I’d rather listen to you talk about work than judge people in the tabloids

We fit together better than a sports announcer and mind-numbing amounts of repetition
Doe-eyed, gooey-eyed, mumbling, drooling and grinning like an idiot is my condition

Are you tracking like a VCR?
Romance is wherever you and I are

*

Happy Valentine’s everybody!
Enjoy some pictures from Anna and I hitting up the San Francisco Valentine’s day pillow fight last year!

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Du Jour of the Week

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De Jour of the Week (12/20/09)

12/20/09

I wrote this a while ago (right after my parents’ visit in early October) so I want to go ahead and use it.

My parents were in town (sort of, we were more in San Francisco, and as part of the trip we wanted to do some good tourist activities. One of these activities was a visit to the De Young Museum, located in Golden Gate Park.

The main exhibit we went to see was a traveling one about King Tut.

Yes, the King Tut. You may have heard about him from Steve Martin.

Going through the exhibit I noticed a lot of things – how amazingly well kept a number of items were that were buried with King Tut (3200 years old!), the amount of effort and money that went into making these items, a cute girl going through the exhibit (I told her, “I’d like to explore your exhibit,” she said, “I’d rather be embalmed.”), a woman looking at the exhibit while holding the leash of her guide dog (that seriously happened – think about how little sense that makes), and the following phrase mentioned several times to explain items: ‘cosmic cow.’

Just what is the cosmic cow? Well … you look it up. (I tried and couldn’t find anything, but it really was there, it was mentioned in the Book of the Dead or some sort of cool sounding thing like that.)

If I’d seen something about a cow mentioned in the Book of the Dead I would’ve thought, ‘whatever, everyone digs a good burger.’ But a cosmic cow? You can’t eat that! It’s cosmic, man!

It got me thinking, though, what other common things would sound much more impressive by adding the word cosmic? This is a short list of just such things:

Cosmic Monkey (they’re adorrrrabllllle!)

Cosmic Ass Hole (you know the type)

Cosmic Diarrhea (side effect? Cosmic shame – and that’s a lot of shame)

Cosmic Erectile Dysfunction Disorder (no comment)

Cosmic Pimp (Looks good on a business card)

Cosmic Hangover (this makes you puke so much you puke childhood memories)

Cosmic Booty Call (tra la la, baby)

Cosmic Booty Call (don’t get me started)

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Weekly Wacko (3)

For Halloween this year I went to the Castro, in San Francisco. The Castro, for those of you who don’t know, is San Francisco’s gayborhood. Yes, San Francisco is known as somewhat of a city-wide gayborhood, but the Castro is high-concentration gayborhood-ness.

It’s a great area for people watching, especially on Halloween. Here are some pictures I took from that night.

Here I am. I am a “cereal killer.” This costume did not really make a big splash because no one got it. My “knife” was a switch blade comb (I was going to be a greaser).
A friend and I were walking around taking photos of people, and people watching. I started quizzing people who would stare at me. My friend was dressed as Luigi, and I have to admit, I had Luigi-envy, because everyone got him right away. Me? No such luck.

“Can you tell what I am?”

“Uhh …”

Holding up the switch blade comb to a box of cereal, as though I’m going to cut it, I say, “pretend this is a knife.”

“It’s Halloween. I don’t have to pretend anything.”

What do you say to that?

me

Ahhh, the insanity. We were confined to sidewalks to so it was very hard to get around. I am so glad, during times like these, that I’m somewhat tall. I can at least get some fresh air that way.

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No snark from me, just thought this was a cool costume.

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Seems about right.

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Yep.

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“Honey, we’re visiting San Francisco. We should go to the ‘gay’ part of town.”

“Why, what’s there?”

“Nothing, it’d just be fun to walk around!”

“Well, allllll riiiiight.”

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Take out food, za-zing!

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Such an awesome costume!

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California Raisons! Great costume idea. Luigi and I agreed, any costume is better when done team-style.

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Me-ow.

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Happy belated Halloween everyone!

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(See more Weekly Wacko’s here.)

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