The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘sex’

Keeping Up With the Kids

Recently I spent a week in California with a bunch of family. Among that family was a 16 year old niece and a 12 year old nephew. Naturally, I took the opportunity to catch up on the latest slang to continue to bring you, dear reader, the latest and most important news. Light on facts, heavy, on, commas.

Without further ado, here is some new slang.

  • Bath water waves – something drug-related
  • More ovaltine, please! – something drug-related
  • Slimy soup – something drug-related
  • Mr. Peabody’s Dentures – something sex-related
  • You going for a jog? – something exercise-related, possibly also drugs
  • Pokemon Stay – something sex-related
  • Shiny shiny wigs – something drug-related

There you go, readers. Listen for these phrases to know when to yell at the youth.

Dystopians and Sex

Not long ago I finally read 1984 by George Orwell. It’s the age old charming tale of a dystopian future.

Here’s what struck me though:

Dystopian novels and sex seem to go hand in hand.

  1. Brave New World – Everything is regulated by the government, people who are created and controlled by the government are encouraged to have sex with whoever they please. People are not having sex to procreate, but instead as a recreational act (it’s a distraction).
  2. A Clockwork Orange – Some of the citizens in the country are out of control (which includes raping people), to counter this the government has devised a way to, basically, brainwash you to be good. Your self control is no longer there, you are “good” by force … To demonstrate this, the brainwashed man is put near a woman to show that, look, he’s not trying to attack her.
  3. 1984 – Life is incredibly regulated and, as part of that regulation, the government pairs you with a spouse. Sex is seen as a tool to create new citizens for the government. Sex is not seen as an enjoyable act, and as part of the main character’s rebellion he meets a woman who enjoys having sex.

It is interesting, and probably no accident, that these very well-known novels have such an “animal” or raw thing (sex) as something that is highlighted to demonstrate the government’s absolute control. After all, if you could control something like that, what else can’t you control?

It’s just crazy to me that sex is shown (at least in my opinion) as an example of control in such very different ways.

The other thing to notice is that the authors are all British. What is it about Brits and a sex-oriented dystopian future?

Listen Up, Nestea!

Don’t wanna get nasty
Just wanna get Nestea

That’s your new campaign slogan. What do you think? Ok, fine, you’re not immediately sold. Allow me to explain my brilliance!

What do you do with it? Oh I don’t know, sell records amount of tea!! (And sex.)

You have male and female based ad campaigns. See in the male version a young, attractive man implies offering sexual favors for Nestea. See!? Brilliant! Now you understand your new slogan.

In the female version, get ready, you do the exact same thing as in the male version.

It’s already entered our pop culture vernacular … mostly. Sexting, with a minor twist, is the same as sexteang.

You could have that one song, Blurred Lines, as the song in your commercial. Robin Thicke can be your spokesperson.

How am I not already an advertising billionaire!?

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