The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘transcript’

Illuminating? Nah.

Screen Shot 2016-04-05 at 8.06.18 PM

I took the transcript of Trump’s interview with the Washington Post editorial board and I narrowed it down to just Trump’s answers. I thought, ‘this will be really interesting!’ Is it? Mildly.

In the course of the interview, Trump said 9,213 words. Above are the top 50 most commonly used. The word ‘don’t’ was actually the most used, but the tool I used is apparently a piece of junk and can’t handle contractions.

A few thoughts!

  • A challenge to you, dear reader, take these 50 words and make them into a story. (Below, see my attempt!)
  • No joke, one of the 50 most commonly used words in that interview … was Trump!
  • Think was most used (87 times), then people (71), don’t (75 times)
  • Actually was only used 19 times, which surprised me (I could’ve sworn he said that every sentence)

 

Here is the Trump interview, using only those 50 words.

Okay Baltimore person, start? Oh.
Everybody send stories, read, writes thought … talking jobs done different, create change.
Problem: People probably saying China bad.
Trump think screaming American spending million troops work really tremendous.
Deal.
Money things win world, country. Building example happened.
Heard guy hands going give better something? Lot!

Lost Shakespeare Transcript Found!

Amazing! I don’t know how these things happen, but I found a transcript of a conversation THE William Shakespeare had with a certain love interest. Here we go, from me to you!

* * *

William Shakespeare (WS): Hey honey. I’m home.
Love Interest (LI): Darling!! How was your day?
WS: Not bad, not bad. I drank, and I wrote a play.
LI: Oh! I’m so proud of you!!
WS: Thanks. It’s called Hamlet.
LI: Aw! Did you write it while you were thinking of me? Like how your ex inspired you to write Romeo and Juliet with your amazing love?
WS: Uh … Yeah I actually did think about you while I wrote this.
LI: We can talk later! Let me read it!! Wow! I’m your muse!!

(Later that day)

LI: What the hell, Bill.
WS: You read it?
LI: Uh. Yeah.
WS: Ha … so … did you like it?
LI: Talk about your all time passive aggressive.
WS: What? With my ex I thought about love so strong you couldn’t live without it. With you I thought of … murder. It’s just a different dynamic?
LI: I seriously hate you.
WS: Awww come on!
LI: How can you think our relationship is good if, while dating me, you write a play where EVERYONE DIES.
WS: Life is fleeting. Just like relationships.
LI: …
WS: Oh. Whoops. Haha! Um, no. Let me say that again. Life is fleeting. Unlike our relationship?
LI: …
WS: …Who wants ice cream?

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