My wife suggested we make each other sweaters to wear on Christmas day. We settled for long sleeves from Hobby Lobby.
Her sweater for me comes with instructions. When people say ‘great sweater!’ I am supposed to say ‘dino!’ … Like ‘I know!’ … But ‘dino.’
My sweater for her … Haven’t you heard of the famous Christmas sheep?
Now that Thanksgiving is in the rearview mirror it is time to begin prepping for Christmas (if you celebrate Christmas … if you don’t, read on, this is all made up nonsense anyway so I’m not excluding anyone).
Oprah is often a source for favorite things, and what better way to decorate than to model Oprah’s favorite things? But, I’ll do you one better. One of Oprah’s things that she has yet to pick – Gayle! Her buddy! Print off a few pictures of Gayle’s face and frame them in festive Christmas frames.
And that’s it.
Yep. You read that right.
Just a bunch of Gayle’s framed around your house.
For the real go-getter, frame pictures of her hands, maybe a close up of her ears. Get to the point that you feel creepy and deranged, and know that you’ve just begun.
Then invite family and friends over.
Those who want to stay, make sure to never spend time around those people again. Yikes. As for the rest of your family and friends, we here at DumbFunnery wish you the best of luck in convincing them you’re not nuts.
Merry Christmas Prep Everyone!
Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
While fishnet stockings over your face may look attractive, it can make eating difficult.
Note here, this woman attempting to eat her finger.
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
DumbFunnery 