The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘zombie’

My Zombie Roomy (2/7/13)

Classic good news, bad news situation.

Good news – the Zombie made friends! Finally no more guilt when I get home at the end of a long day of work and feel like the poor guy has been neglected. No more worrying what crazy nonsense he’ll get up to out of boredom when I go away for a long weekend or on some trip. He really is pretty creative in the different ways he makes me afraid for my mental stability.

Bad news – The Zombie’s friends are other zombies.

See what I mean about mental stability?

More later, he’s heading out the door so I’m going to follow him.

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My Zombie Roomy

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My Zombie Roomy (1/21/13)

Remember Paul the Octopus? Or, to use the phrase I used to look up his name on Google, ‘octopus world cup.’ He ‘predicted’ the winners of a bunch of world cup games because he was presented with two boxes of food, each had a flag on it, and whichever box of food he went for first was the winner. And the octopus happened to be right  twelve out of fourteen times. Nuts, right?

Well, I think the Zombie was having a Paul the Octopus thing going on when I discovered, late Saturday night, the dismembered arm of a man who had been wearing an Atlanta Falcons jersey AND a bloodied piece of a New England Patriots jersey.

Crazier things have happened – like, you know, having a zombie for a roommate – so I decided to go for it. I called a friend who likes friendly wager’s and asked if he’d be down for one for the afternoon game. I bet on the 49ers and the Ravens to win, twenty bucks for each game.

Unfortunately, I later discovered bits of jersey from a Seahawks fan, a Chiefs fan, a 49ers fan and a Ravens fan. Apparently the Zombie stumbled on a football watching party and went to town.

That’s an awful lot of people though, so I am afraid the Zombie either was killing for sport (NOT good) or he’s made a bunch of friends (even worse).

On the plus side I made 40 bucks!

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My Zombie Roomy

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My Zombie Roomy (11/15/12)

I don’t know what came over me but suddenly I was so curious if the Zombie is ticklish. I’m not going to stretch this out and tell you that I found out. It would’ve felt weird to find that out.

It’s like my cheating test. If you’re dating someone, and you have a friend who is the same sex as your boyfriend/girlfriend … here’s how you know if what you are doing is something you should NOT be doing. I’ll use myself as an example.

(Note: This works better for the stereotypical fella.)

Let’s say I have a girlfriend. And one day I am hanging out with a female friend. I picture myself doing whatever this female friend and I are doing with a guy friend … If I feel like I would feel awkward doing that with a guy friend, I shouldn’t be doing it with a female friend. So easy! For example, if we’re both crying and talking about our childhood memories, this is “emotional cheating” (a term I learned from an ex). Of course there are exceptions to this rule, but it’s a good general rule of thumb.

Now to bring it back – I could never tickle a girl if I was dating someone because that would feel like cheating. I would not try to tickle a dude friend. The Zombie is, basically, a dude friend. Therefore, no tickling can happen.

I can’t ask the Zombie either. Just TRY to ask that guy a question and get a straight answer. The mystery of the ticklish state of the Zombino remains … I’ll think of something though. Don’t you worry.

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My Zombie Roomy

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