The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Patriots’

Is Tom Brady an 80’s Villain?

In a number of 80’s comedy movies the villains can be easily spotted by a few trademark characteristics:

  • They have no character development (“hey, there’s … Johnny!”)
  • They seem to be evil without reason, it is just known and accepted that they are evil
  • They are rich
  • They are good looking, often with a good looking girlfriend or boyfriend
  • They have an annoying laugh
  • They seem to be above reproach, even when doing things that clearly seem pretty evil
  • They usually have sidekicks who are also rich and attractive, and they laugh at everything the main guy says

 

Now that football has started back up, and the Patriots are 3-0, talk of Tom Brady has blossomed like a tornado – it’s out of control. But, this does give us an opportunity to examine the facts.

  • Tom Brady is rich
  • Tom Brady is good looking, with a moderately attractive wife (oh I’m a model, pft, whatever)
  • Just looking at Tom Brady you know he laughs weird
  • Hello! Above reproach much??
  • Probably has a posse of guys named Chet, Chaz, Chad and Chodrick
  • He kills kittens because he hates dogs and doesn’t want them to have anything to chase (this may not be true but it sounds pretty likely to me)

 

Now that you have the facts, you decide.

One of these is Tom Brady – it’s pretty clear who.

My Zombie Roomy (1/21/13)

Remember Paul the Octopus? Or, to use the phrase I used to look up his name on Google, ‘octopus world cup.’ He ‘predicted’ the winners of a bunch of world cup games because he was presented with two boxes of food, each had a flag on it, and whichever box of food he went for first was the winner. And the octopus happened to be right  twelve out of fourteen times. Nuts, right?

Well, I think the Zombie was having a Paul the Octopus thing going on when I discovered, late Saturday night, the dismembered arm of a man who had been wearing an Atlanta Falcons jersey AND a bloodied piece of a New England Patriots jersey.

Crazier things have happened – like, you know, having a zombie for a roommate – so I decided to go for it. I called a friend who likes friendly wager’s and asked if he’d be down for one for the afternoon game. I bet on the 49ers and the Ravens to win, twenty bucks for each game.

Unfortunately, I later discovered bits of jersey from a Seahawks fan, a Chiefs fan, a 49ers fan and a Ravens fan. Apparently the Zombie stumbled on a football watching party and went to town.

That’s an awful lot of people though, so I am afraid the Zombie either was killing for sport (NOT good) or he’s made a bunch of friends (even worse).

On the plus side I made 40 bucks!

Describing Bill Belichick

That sassy Bill Belichick

Sassy

Très chic

Mmm, mmm good!

First name Silly, last name Billy

Diva

Leader of men, and style

Favorite phrase: “Shut your dirty pirate mouth!”

(P.S. Let’s go Ravens!)

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