The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

“How would you like to LOOK and FEEL better!?!?!”
“As a hobby, I hate myself, so that would be bad.”

“Excuse me sir … excuse me …”
(Mistake of acknowledging the mall kiosk person exists.)
“Do you celebrate Christmas?”
“Nope.”

(Cute salesgirl approaches …)
“Are you looking for anything in particular?”
“Do you know which section a book by <Insert author that I think she might like> would be?”

“You know that’s a woman’s sweater …?”
“Yeah! Hahaha! … It’s for … My girlfriend … She’s built like me? … Or … Uh … Shoot.”

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Comments on: "Lies I Readily Tell to Salespeople" (2)

  1. Haha… Awesome! Fun post. Love the cute girl one the best.

    You should hear some of the doozies people have told me. “I can’t talk on the phone right now, I’m at a funeral.” Even going so far as to have people weeping in the background and some…Priest speaking…And…And…Oh…

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