The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

I have been playing a fair amount of Battlefield 3 lately. It is a video game where you run around and shoot other players (or the AI if you’re doing single player). Unless you are me, in which case more often than not you are getting shot by other players.

The standard joke is that you are getting crushed by a bunch of thirteen year olds with too much free time. But, according to some articles the average gamer is older. (Common sense also says this … given that I’m a dude in his twenties who plays this game with co-workers.)

Losing in a video game can be frustrating – and my neighbors may think something insane is happening in my apartment. Here’s my guess of what they are thinking.

Me: “WHAT?! I TOTALLY SHOT YOU!”
Neighbor: “Good God, our neighbor is a psycho.”

Me: “HAHAHAHA DUUUUDE! I JUST CRASHED A JET INTO ONE OF THEIR TANKS!”
Neighbor: “Good God, our neighbor is a psycho.”

Me: “ARE YOU SERIOUS!? HOW DID I USE AN ENTIRE CLIP AND NOT HIT HIM ONCE!!!”
Neighbor: “Good God, our neighbor is a psycho.”

Me (just to mix things up): “THESE CUPCAKES I BAKED ARE DELICIOUS!”
Neighbor: “Good God, those cupcakes smell delicious.”

***

Curious why I waste my time playing video games? Sometimes I accidentally do something 1/10th this cool. That is still pretty dang cool.

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