The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

My Zombie Roomy (12/20/11)

I racked my brain quite a bit about a gift for the Zombie. It’s incredibly tough.

First of all – communication with this fella is, to say the least, sparse.

Sure, the obvious thing would be to get him brains but … I don’t really like to go for the obvious gift. For tough gift-receivers I will … and this one is a tough one. But here’s trouble numero dos, where do I get brains?

Moving past obvious then … onto weird, but fun. The Zombie is one hard dude to read. Did he like that song? When it was playing he scratched his hand and a finger looked like it almost fell off. Then he chuckled, licked his finger and starting gnawing on my copy of Game of Thrones. From what I can tell he is completely content in any situation.


Anyway … whatever, I ended up with a grab bag of gifts. Here we go:

  • Duct tape (if a body part falls off, he’s covered)
  • A new, used copy of a Terry Brooks book (you’d think I was crazy but I swear he only gnaws on fantasy-based books)
  • A framed picture of Scarlett Johansson (it’s a gift for both he and I)
  • I bought some old clothes that in my opinion smell like death – thought it might be like a sort of potpourri for him

Hope he likes something in this set? Let me know if you think of something to add last minute!

P.S. I googled “Scarlett Johansson where she doesn’t look hot” and Google’s response was to play a laugh track … weird!

Comments on: "My Zombie Roomy (12/20/11)" (2)

  1. A good pair of walking shoes perhaps. Zombies are always on the move. They’re a very active people.

  2. Maybe you should get him a mobile to put over his bed, or hey, keys. Don’t zombies love keys to jangle? Possibly I’m confusing them with babies.

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