The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (5/9/12)


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Here’s my crack at the guy’s internal monologue:

“Man, she’s hot … Except maybe too literally … Yep, the ability to light yourself on fire is a con … But she called me handsome!! … Eh, she did kill those kids … But she owns a lot of form-fitting clothes!! …”


P.S. Will they go on a third date!? Yes. Yes they will.

Why am I sending these postcards?

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