The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Attn: Ellen’

Attn:Ellen (3/12/14)

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Ellen100

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen101

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This week I’m going to Austin for SxSW (South by Southwest). I’ll get to see the latest in hip fashion.

I will be staring, wide-eyed and weirded out, like Luke Skywalker at the Mos Eisley spaceport.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. I can’t decide if I’d be excited or annoyed if hipsters decided to love Star Wars. On the one hand, sweet!, more people will get this postcard. On the other, I’d have to say that I liked Star Wars before it was cool.

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen (5/9/12)

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Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Here’s my crack at the guy’s internal monologue:

“Man, she’s hot … Except maybe too literally … Yep, the ability to light yourself on fire is a con … But she called me handsome!! … Eh, she did kill those kids … But she owns a lot of form-fitting clothes!! …”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. Will they go on a third date!? Yes. Yes they will.

Why am I sending these postcards?

Attn: Ellen (12/7/11)

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Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

In Germany I was talking with a guy. I told him I was there to, primarily, visit Oktoberfest. He told me, matter-of-factly/with humor, that “Oktoberfest is Mecca for Americans.”

How cool is that guy?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. Sorry this isn’t very funny … in my defense Die Hard is on so I have to watch that.

Attn: Ellen (11/30/11)

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Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

Here’s what you do – tape a small map of Brugge to your leg. Then, bump into something. Concerned, your friend will say, “are you all right?” Then you life up your pants and say, “aw, I’ve got a little Brugge on my leg.”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Attn: Ellen (11/23/11)

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Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

“Mmmm, succulent meat,” she said seductively.

“Your pie … is tasty,” he said gruffly.

“Wait – I didn’t make pie.”

“Well, I’m sorry. This whole ‘sexual Thanksgiving’ thing is weird.”

Happy Thanksgiving to Ellen + Everybody!!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Attn: Ellen (11/16/11)

Front



Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

Copenhagen was beautiful. I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if a unicorn walked by when we were walking around.

UNLESS the unicorn was not pretty – in which case it would not pass Copenhagen citizenry requirements.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Attn: Ellen (11/9/11)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

Lund was beautiful!

If the University there happens to have someone reading this I am available to be a professor! Please?

I can teach Postcard Writing 101, or an advanced course in addition (subtraction I don’t really like – I tend to be more of a positive guy ……).

The jokes don’t stop!!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

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