The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fanmail’

Attn: Ellen (5/30/18)

Front

Ellen351a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen351b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

You know how NBA players commit a foul, a ref blows the whistle, and the player looks around, arms thrown up in the air, as though they are shocked and disgusted?

Whenever my wife reminds me of something I forgot to do I’m going to react like that. Backup plan – I’ll sweat as much as one of those dudes and she’ll never be in the same room as me.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

P.S. Seriously, they each sweat approximately one Nile River / game.

Why am I doing this?

 

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (11/22/17)

Front

Ellen326a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen326b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Here’s this complex look in a few easy steps:

1) buy a bunch of fabrics

2) throw them at an airplane engine that is running

Boom! Shredded fabrics!

As for why you’d wear that? That’s outside my wheelhouse.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (11/23/16)

Front

ellen287a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen287b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Here we see a depiction of an American woman escaping contentious and fruitless political conversation over Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, and remember to keep your escape canoe handy.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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