The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (4/3/13)


Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I realized something ugly about myself today – I have become the guy who invites himself over. Only instead of it being 3rd grade and you have the best video games, I’m 28 and I want to meet you (and maybe a literary agent via your kindness). But don’t worry! I can fix this! I’ll have my mom call your mom and you’ll unknowingly be having me over because your mom is nice and feels bad for me.


Why am I doing this?

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