The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Oh no, Halloween is two days away and you’ve got nothing (or if you’re in college you have your fourth Halloween party coming up on Thursday – ugh I’m so sick of Halloween by now you guys, seriously another party?, fine whatever – and you can’t wear something you’ve already worn).

Fret not, I am here to help you.

First off, feel free to check out a past guide (which obviously became internet sensation):


Now for this year’s guide:

Last Minute Halloween Costumes

  • Be a Dick Tracy villain (one that I made up just now): Waffle Maker

    Other classic Dick Tracy villains (see, my idea is not so far fetched huh?)

    • His line whenever he offs someone he was paid to “quiet”?
      • “Prepare to meet your Maker …”
    • He then leaves behind a Waffle.
    • What should you wear?
      • Try something dressy and nice (so you look good), and carry around a waffle maker.
    • Want to go the extra mile?
      • Bring a waffle or two to whatever party you’re going to.


  • Be Venice Beach for Halloween!
    • Talk with a bad Italian accent
    • Be incredibly rude to everyone
    • Get it? Venice Beach.


  • Be a white basketball player!
    • Get one of those “Fun Dip” candy things
    • Whenever someone asks you what you are take the Fun Dip stick and try but continuously fail to get the stick in the sugar packet
    • It’s fairly obvious at this point that you “can’t dunk” so they should be able to connect the dots
    • Want to go the extra mile?
      • Wear workout clothes and carry a basketball (for anyone who isn’t so quick on the uptake like you and I)


  • Be a social grave digger!
    • Wear dark clothes
    • Carry a shovel
    • Say really awful or awkward or insulting things to people and then try to talk your way out of it unsuccessfully
    • Note: This costume may come more naturally for some people

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