The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (5/14/14)

Front

Ellen170a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen170b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

A rattling noise as a warning of danger is to babies what an animal advertising a cheap and delicious buffet is to adults. Why so cruel, nature?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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