The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

I beg of you, please follow these steps to help the US Men’s National Team to advance tomorrow against Belgium.

  • Don’t eat fancy chocolates
    • This will send those Belgies (I just coined that) a message: we mean business
  • Avoid waffles
    • Don’t waffle when it comes to the USMNT
  • Crush up brussel sprouts and pour them on everything
    • This doesn’t make that much sense but soccer is on and I don’t have any creative juices flowing at the moment

Leave work early on Tuesday (the game is on at 3pm Central time) and cheer for the team. If they lose, be proud they made it this far. If they win, be ecstatic and dance around and make people at the place you’re watching the game wish they were soccer fans.


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