The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (7/16/14)


Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Now that the World Cup is over, what sport should Americans pay a marginal amount of attention to? Baseball of course!

Baseball answers all of the important summertime questions like

1) Just how bored am I?

2) Is there anything worse on TV than this infomercial?

3) How is grandpa taking another nap on the couch?

Let’s hear it for America’s favorite pastime, a sport that inspires daydreams and a love of stadiums with wi-fi. Oh look, since I started writing this the pitcher threw a strike! Hooray!


Why am I doing this?

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