The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (3/11/15)


Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

We learned that monkeys can be a real nuisance. For example, a fellow tourist told us of a time when a monkey jumped onto his patio, walked into his hotel room, acknowledged him on the bed, went to his suitcase, then opened it!, and looked around for snacks! Incredible!

Because my wife and I are unintelligent animal fans, we now want to travel with an extra suitcase full of snacks.


P.S. There are no possible downsides, right?

Why am I doing this?

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