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Attn: Ellen (9/7/16)

Front

ellen276a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen276b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Tomorrow from 7-8 am I have a Toastmaster’s meeting. Since we meet during breakfast time I’m going to make toast then carefully and evenly spread peanut butter and jelly on both sides. I’m going to carefully drive to the meeting with my toast, enter the room, feign sadness, and say “I don’t deserve to be here.” It’ll be a riot!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. How many toast puns til I get kicked out?

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (8/31/16)

Front

Ellen275a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen275b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This week my wife is visiting family, and I’m left with free time for some culinary experiments. For example, how many nights in a row is TOO many nights in a row to have chip dip for dinner? And, how much ice cream do I need to consume before my sweat is sweet instead of salty?

In the meantime, I am the yeti on this postcard and my belly is the fire-breathing dragon.

(Dear Wife,

If you have intercepted the mail: 1, tsp, tsp, that’s postal fraud and 2, please come home soon.)

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (8/24/16)

Front

Ellen274a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen274b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I wonder if Lewis and Clark kept tallies on each other, for how many times they said, “aww!” Also I wonder if they said “AHHHHH!!!” just as many times.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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