The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

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Chatty Copy

I’m going to make your day a smidgen worse.

 

This is nothing new, but something I hadn’t noticed. Allow me to introduce it to you … Imagine a sign above a water fountain at a gym. These days, that sign might read something like:

 

“Hey buddy! Thirsty, huh? Drink up – it’s important to hydrate! But remember, this is a public water fountain, please don’t make a mess and move out of line as soon as you finish!”

 

A less chatty version of this same message?

 

“Respect other water fountain users.”

 

Or, if you want to spell it out more.

 

“Respect others – don’t leave a mess, and move along quickly.”

 

Now that I’ve been introduced to chatty copy I can’t notice how it seems to be EVERYWHERE.

 

Think to yourself, is this telling me about a product or some information? Is it also trying to be weirdly chummy while doing so? Hey hey, you’ve just run into some chatty copy! Why say with 10 words what you can say in 100 words with an emoji to boot?

 

I think it is on the decline or way out at this point, but what an interesting trend that seemed to have swept so many different companies and notices/warnings all over. This makes me want to pay more deliberate attention to advertising in all its various forms, instead of letting it be the background noise that sticks in my head. I feel like paying attention to ads and dissecting them takes a bit of the crafty subtle manipulative powers away from them. But then again, they are so abundant you can’t help but want to tune them out. At this point I’m just rambling. (This is not a form of advertising as far as I know.)

 

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Let’s hope Charmin never embraces chatty copy.

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Where Would You Go?

If you could travel to any one moment in time but only be able to witness and not interact – When would you go?

Humanity has had so many powerful and important moments. The Earth itself has experienced even more powerful moments. Of all of these myriad occasions, how could you pick just one?

Well, I have thought long and hard about this and I have my pick.

The first time a human discovered pineapples are edible.

Look at this thing. Who would be so crazy as to think, oh yeah, I can’t wait to crack that open and eat its innards. pineapple-05It’s like a fruit porcupine! Everything about it is saying, ‘no no, not me, my outsides are painful friend, try a banana for God’s sake, it’s got that handy little carrying case so you can eat it even if your hands are dirty.’

But some human was going along and found one of those. Had something conspired to already crack it open, and the human picked it up, got those delicious pineapple juices on their (probably dirty) hands and the human thought, ‘ew sticky …’ then maybe the (gross) human licked his or her hands and thought ‘HELLOOOOOOO! This! Is! The! TASTIEST!’

And did that human then share the knowledge with others? I’ll be honest, I would probably not be so quick to do that.

Imagine doughnuts falling from trees around you, and you’re the only one who learns they are edible (and delicious). Would you be calling up your pals to have a free doughnut party? Heck no, you’d hoard them and gain a lot of weight and when people say things like, ‘why’d you gain so much weight? And why do you keep cleaning up the stuff that falls from the doughnut tree?’ You’d probably accuse them all of being communists and run away (but not much running, what with all the doughnuts slowing you down).

What if, WHAT IF the first person to discover the tasty insides of an evil-shelled pineapple was one of those rare specimens who doesn’t like pineapples! What a twist, huh? Bet you hadn’t thought about that.

The pineapple’s initial tastiness discovery clearly leads to a lot more questions than answers. It’s a time I think all of us should wish we knew more about.

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Signs You Are Unique and Special Parents

Lady: You get pregnant while still a virgin
Fella: You don’t get angry at the lady, you believe her and stick by her side
Random people show up with gifts right after you give birth and you don’t say, ‘uh, excuse me, fellas? Yeah, you, beard-y types. Could you please leave? I JUST gave birth, I’m a little tired.’
Your child begins talking to crowds about pretty radical and crazy ideas and you don’t pull said child aside and say, ‘uhhh, buddy? Let’s have a little talk about social norms, k?’
When your child was young and sometimes sulked and you would say, ‘hey mister, quit turning that water into whine’ and then he grows up and … just, woah.
You give your child a small snack, just enough to tide over til dinner time, and suddenly the whole neighborhood is full.

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