The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for the ‘Pictures’ Category

If I Was a Grandpa …

HI KIDS. IT IS YOUR GRANDPA. I WAS WATCHING THE NEWS AND SAW A REPORT ON A THING CALLED A MEME AND I TALKED TO YOUR GRANDMA ABOUT IT AND DECIDED TO MAKE ONE FOR YOU.

I DO NOT THINK, AND YOUR GRANDMA AGREES, YOU ARE TAKING SOME THINGS THAT MAY SEEM BORING TODAY BUT IN YOUR FUTURE YOU WILL APPRECIATE, VERY SERIOUSLY. FOR EXAMPLE, DENTAL HYGIENE. ALSO, FIBER.

I FOUND A PICTURE ON THE INTERNET AND I AM TAKING IT TO USE FOR THIS MEME. I TRIED TO THE GOOGLE IT AND IT CAME BACK AND DIDN’T HAVE MY ANSWER SO I HOPE IT’S OK.

HERE IS ONE.

Concerned Raccoon 1

HERE IS ANOTHER.

Concerned Raccoon 2

HERE IS ONE I MADE TO BE FUNNY.

Concerned Raccoon 3

I ENCOURAGE YOU TO LOOK AT THIS AND KNOW THAT WHILE THEY ARE FUNNY THEY HAVE REAL ADVICE. GET ON THE YOLO APP AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT IT WITH INSTANT GRAMS. I ASSURE YOU THAT I KNOW YOU WILL TEASE EACH OTHER ABOUT YOUR OLD GRANDPA AND HOW MUCH HE WORRIES AND MAYBE IT FEELS LIKE I AM COMING IN LIKE A MY LEE CYRUS WRECKING BALL BUT I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.

YOUR GRANDMA IS ABOUT TO SEND YOU 17 FORWARDS, SEVERAL WITH RACIST JOKES, SO PLEASE READ THOSE VERY CAREFULLY THEY ARE IMPORTANT TO HER.

LOVE OR WHATEVER,
GRANDPA

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Du Jour of the Week, Pictures

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Outsmarting Nature

In preparation for a camping trip I recently took I managed to outsmart nature with some pretty clever tricks. Here are just three examples of my flashes of brilliance:

1. I shaved all of the hair off my body. All of it. Animals are no dummies, predatory ones would take one look at my abnormal, hairless self and think, “that stuff looks like it’s gone bad. That is not good eatin.'”

2. I used a photo editor to create images of terrifying animals, I printed those out, and then I hung them around the campsite. Animals, seeing these images, would know to flee. The most intimidating one was either the shark with burly human legs or the 10,000 pound duckbill platypus. (I had a note on the picture indicating the scale. The animals probably sensed that rather than actually read it.)

3. In true freak-out-like-that-scene-in-Predator-style, I would randomly shoot about 300 bullets at anything around me while shrieking in pure fear.

You will be happy to know I survived the camping trip.

Experienced Camper

If this isn’t the look of someone who knows what he’s doing … Then it’s a picture of me.

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Du Jour of the Week, Pictures

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She Said Maybe!

bling bling ring

I got this ring at Claire’s (the jewelry store in what seems every mall). I thought it’d be funny to post this picture on Facebook and say ‘she said maybe!’ because the ring cost about 7 dollars … The girlfriend (now fiance!) did not share in my delight about this joke. So here it is … Blog worthy.

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Pictures

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