The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘cold’

Fan Mail + Working Out

Dear DumbFunnery,

Do you have any thoughts or advice about working out?

Fictional Reader

Hey Fictional Reader, thanks for writing in. As always, feel free, dear readers, to hit me with questions at my Facebook page (though I’d likely never see it), Twitter, comments on posts, or email (

It’s cold where I live now (having come from Houston and now living in Colorado – I laugh at my previous definition of cold) and excuses during winter time are easy to find. Sure, those excuses might take different forms like a tough day at work, getting home too late, being hungry for dinner already, etc, but I think right now the only real reasons I am opting out of jogs are – it’s dark early, and it’s so dang cold.

Here are my rules for myself when it comes to working out.

1 – Have a plan

  • That’s not just what I am doing today, but what I am doing for the course of a month, or longer. Ideally, there is a goal I am working to – some 5k or half-marathon.
  • I think a plan is important because it’s easy to work out once and then reward yourself with a day or two off, which can easily change into a resolution to start working out the first day of the next month.
  • If you set realistic goals (realistic meaning not too much progress, goal means yes you have to be uncomfortable and push yourself) then you have a course of action to follow.

2 – Remove any available excuse you think you might use

  • Life happens, and sometimes you stay at work til 6 when you’d planned to leave at 4:30. If you still work out that day even though you wanted to start your work out at 4:45 or 5? Phew, good on you. Did you have one of those truly awful days of work? Are you upset over news, or celebrating some news? I get it, it’s easy to pass on the work out and pay attention to that.
  • But if life happens regularly, and if you often come home a bit later than planned or have something unexpected pop up at a regular rate, or are generally home too happy or annoyed to work out … it’s time to start planning for that.
  • It is very easy to come up with an excuse for taking the day off, and so you’ll need to put some practices in place to limit the availability of those excuses.
    • Work too late regularly? Bring a banana for a late afternoon snack
    • Worn down/annoyed/whatever after work? Time to try working out before work (or embrace the fact that a post-work workout wipes out stress like a champ)
    • Too cold out? Start pinching pennies until you can afford some running tights and a balaclava (actually I use a neck gaiter, but balaclava is more fun to say)
    • Weather is just intolerable for outdoor workouts? Find a gym you can afford, or find some workouts for inside your home.
    • Know that you just can’t do this alone? Find a buddy. Don’t have one? Hit me up (see above) and I’ll check in on you to see what you’re doing, or if you’re not doing it what your excuses are, and then we can gameplan together on how to reduce those


That’s it friends. It’s winter, it’s the holidays, it’s the perfect time to chow down on good food. Why not make it tastier with a workout?


1 – Pull that puppy up around your nose and oh life is good; 2 – The minus 33 neck gaiter is what I use and it’s delightful; 3 – I think I look cooler than this guy when I wear mine

Aren’t Our Bodies NEAT!?

I’m writing this while I’m (knock on wood) nearing the end of a cold. The future is bright, my friends. It holds a cough-free me, no runny nose, and not clearing my throat ten times an hour for no good reason.

I’m on day 8 of this cold, and because it’s so fascinating for people to read about my germs, here’s the history of dear coldie and I:

  • Day 0 – No cold yet, but that hint of a sore throat feeling … It doesn’t hurt to swallow, but I notice it, and it’s not a good sign
  • Day 1 – Bit of a sore throat, not so bad, fever struck around noon like a quick punch and I felt miserable
  • Day 2 – A day of sleep (stayed home from work)
  • Day 3 – Back at work, sore throat and hint of a runny nose
  • Day 4 – Minor throat issues, full on runny nose
  • Day 5 – This nose must have Energizer batteries, because that puppy just runs, cough emerging (oh no)
  • Day 6 – Runny nose, cough, but feel decent
  • Day 7 – Less of a runny nose!, less of a cough!, feel decent! (also woke up thinking ‘all right! I slept with my mouth closed!’)
  • Day 8 – Woke up not noticing how nice it is to sleep and be able to breath through my nose (but that’s exactly what I did, I just got back to taking that for granted quickly) … nose, cough, you get the picture

Today I feel pretty decent, I even debated the idea of a jog, but I know that wouldn’t be wise. I’d cough like a maniac if I actually exerted effort.

What I am appreciative of is my nose! On Monday blowing my nose just plain hurt, the pain of rubbing tissues on that same dang spot. Ouch. Putting lotion on was a nice thought, but soon enough I’d be blowing my nose again and there goes that effort. (Which by the way is an effort, being a relatively new guy at work and rubbing lotion around my nostrils while trying to not let co-workers see and think I’m picking my nose … but the secrecy actually probably making it look more like I AM picking my nose.)

The nose, I am happy to report, is healing itself. Now when I blow my nose it’s a nuisance and an irritation, not outright pain.

For you non-cold people reading this (why in God’s name would someone have stuck with this post til the end?), appreciate your functioning body! Appreciate your deep breaths, your non-red nose, your ability to laugh at something without fear of it turning into coughing and people going, “eck” with down-turned mouths and involuntary steps back (keeping their pivot foot in place so as not to be rude).

For those of you just embarking on a cold, hold fast, friends, embrace the soup, grow to hate the soup.

The New Home









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