The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘college’

First Day of Work Tweets

@bikes4bullies, 6:36 am: Ahhhh! First day of work! SO EXCITED!!

@bikes4bullies, 7:12 am: Leaving now! I could hardly eat breakfast!

@bikes4bullies, 7:18 am: LOL! RT @summurrrrwhat: dude i think im still drunk. good luck.

@bikes4bullies, 7:40 am: Dang got here way too early! Now I’m sitting in the parking lot like a perv. Some good looking coworkers though o_O =D

@bikes4bullies, 8:10 am: Everyone is super nice. Score!

@bikes4bullies, 8:59 am: Ok. No harassment. No misuse of resources. No super long breaks. Don’t talk like an idiot. Don’t look like an idiot. Got it.

@bikes4bullies, 9:25 am: @champchimp4life Lawlz … No I write my tweets on the sly and only takes a few seconds so it’s not misusing any company time or anything.

@bikes4bullies, 9:26 am: The bathroom smells weird. Yes, I’m toilet tweeting. Twoileting?

@bikes4bullies, 10:02 am: Still in hr training stuff … so basically you’re saying use common sense … seriously, got it …

@bikes4bullies, 10:41 am: One of the people in the sexual harassment video was hot. Is that weird? jk jk

@bikes4bullies, 11:12 am: Goooooooood godddddddddd make this stop

@bikes4bullies, 11:14 am: LOL! RT @summurrrrwhat: thats what she said

@bikes4bullies, 12:49 pm: Lunch couldn’t last long enough. I’m only like 4 hours into my day. How is this possible?

@bikes4bullies, 2:14 pm: Dang I just realized like I have to do this like forever?

@bikes4bullies, 2:17 pm: I wonder if anyone has ever cried during training because they realized the summer of their life is over.

@bikes4bullies, 2:19 pm: hahasorry too real right?

@bikes4bullies, 3:02 pm: Wow. This guy I just walked by is like a genuine hunchback. I think I’m going to do that 10 minute break from your computer an hour thing.

@bikes4bullies, 3:14 pm: Would it be considered bad to play hooky on your second day of work?

@bikes4bullies, 3:52 pm: Ok sorry. Got some negative tweets. I’ve got a job. It’s good. It’s cool. It’s just that I miss college.

@bikes4bullies, 4:12 pm: Saw my desk. This is some genuine Office Space stuff right here! I even saw a guy with a red stapler.

@bikes4bullies, 4:14 pm: Who is going out tonight?

@bikes4bullies, 4:15 pm: Because I’m not! LOL!

@bikes4bullies, 4:20 pm: Got a bunch of responses to that … Maybe it’s less LOL and more … I don’t know. The guy I sit next to has been working in that EXACT SAME CUBE longer than I’ve been alive.

@bikes4bullies, 4:34 pm: Did you know 26 minutes is 1,560 seconds? I just learned that.

@bikes4bullies, 4:35 pm: Did you know 25 minutes is 1,500 seconds? Haha ok I’m done.

@bikes4bullies, 4:44 pm: Here’s my new way to tell how slowly time is moving … If I’d rather be doing sit-ups time is SLOW. If I’d rather be at yoga time is moving at an ungodly slow pace.

@bikes4bullies, 4:59 pm: So a co-worker just told me that one guy at work Googled my name and found my Twitter account and apparently a lot of people I set by have been watching this and laughing all day.

@bikes4bullies, 5:01 pm: Oh shit they saw that too.

@bikes4bullies, 5:04 pm: See you tomorrow (co-workers). Everyone else, I’ll write you on fb to send you a new screen name

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Short Short Stories

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A New Regret

Recently I have realized a regret that I didn’t know until … recently. I wish I had done a radio show in college.

At my college they were easy to get and there’s absolutely no pressure because no one is listening to you!

But wait, you think, if no one is paying attention what’s the point? What would you do? Who would you interview?

The point is I would do whatever I want! I would interview myself pretending to be other people (giving me a chance to do silly voices and impressions). I’ve got news people, we all have that one friend who likes to do accents or impressions – those people are only TOO ready to do accents or impressions. No one is more dazzled by their accents/impressions than themselves.

Would I care that no one is listening to me (as myself) asking questions of myself (as a meat head or stereotypical sorority girl or gay German man named Gunter)? No! I wouldn’t care at all! Because my target audience (me) would be listening!

Of course I would love it if people tuned in because maybe, just maybe, someone would say something to acknowledge something I feel is a genuine skill and comedic talent … But the shameful part is if I get sad enough, I will just make up a new voice of some over the top enthusiastic supporter and then interview him and maybe for good measure throw in an “angry caller number 7” voice and then I would moderate the conversation as myself and radio drama would ensue.

Oh college radio show, what fun we would’ve had. My self-created, 7 views one with one dislike best of radio show highlights youtube video would’ve been a regular watch as my days went by.

P.S. I have been watching a lot of Futurama so maybe I am jealous of being a voice actor.

P.P.S. That whole doing this for my own amusement also explains a LOT of this blog.

Category:

Weekly Wacko

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2013 SMU Football Predictions

Ok folks, tonight is SMU’s season opener and it’ll be a tough one (so tough that I am expecting to only be able to watch a half before I am too sad to fully pay attention). Let’s ignore that for now and look back at my record so far.

In 2011 I predicted the Mustangs would go 8-4. Instead they went 7-5, winning a bowl game to bring them to 8-5. (I didn’t predict all of the games correctly, for example I thought they’d lose to TCU but they actually beat them.)

In 2012 I predicted the Mustangs would go 8-4 … Instead they went 6-6 (overall 7-6 because of a bowl game win).

My prediction skills, like the Mustangs abilities, apparently decreased.

With that in mind, here are my 2013 predictions!

Anywho, time to get down to it!

8/30 v Texas Tech Nope. Nope nope nope.
9/7 v Montana State Bounce back game!
9/21 @ Texas A&M I may skip watching this one
9/28 @ TCU Victory! (It’s unlikely but why not?)
10/06 Rutgers (Family Weekend) Loss
10/13 @ Memphis Win
10/18 v Temple (Homecoming) Win
10/27 @ Cincinnati Loss
11/03 v Connecticut Win
11/10 @ USF Loss
11/17 @ Houston Loss
11/24 v UCF Loss

 

Overall predicted record: 5-7. (And I have to admit, that’s optimistic.)

2013 will be a year of cheering on SMU without getting too into the games so that I can avoid frustration and anger. Or, I’ll just listen to or watch games and get angry – turn on my NCAA football game and play that while continuing to listen/watch and at least in the virtual world SMU will be good.

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Uncategorized

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