The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Du Jour of the Week’

A Quiet Conversation

Somewhere in the southern United States, in a locker room on a sleepy Tuesday, the only people left after a long practice are the quarterback and an offensive lineman.

Quarterback: Hey man, good practice.

Lineman: Yeah, man, just trying to keep you clean.

Quarterback: Oh I don’t mind getting hit once or twice, I …

Lineman: What? Say it, man.

Quarterback: Aw it’s dumb but … You know in games on TV when a quarterback throws right as he’s getting hit and you see him laying there, looking up to see if it’s a complete pass, and woah, it is, and the quarterback just stays laying there for a second like … super happy.

Lineman: Yeah I know exactly what you’re talking about. You wanna do that?

Quarterback: Ha. Yeah … I guess I … I guess I do.

Lineman: …

Quarterback: Ok. Well. I gotta go so I’ll –

Lineman: Wait.

Quarterback: Dude … You just gonna make fun of me for what I just said?

Lineman: No, no. It’s uh … I got one of those too.

Quarterback: Yeah?

Lineman: Yeah. Um. You know like, when a quarterback scrambles and gets a touchdown and he’s all excited?

Quarterback: Hell yeah I do! I did that last game man!

Lineman: Yeah! Yeah that was great! What a win, huh? It’s just … You ever see that chick flick Dirty Dancing?

Quarterback: Dude. I know exactly what you’re gonna say. I’m on it. Next game. I promise.

Lineman: (smiles ear to ear)

I’ll be honest, before I started writing this I figured it’d be the quarterback wanting the lineman to hold him but then I thought, “you know what? I bet it’s actually the lineman!”

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Du Jour of the Week

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Hey René Magritte

Ceci n’est pas une perceuse (This may be my most highbrow post ever.)

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Du Jour of the Week

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JJ Watt’s New Ad

I wrote this last week after the Texans oofta of a loss to the Dolphins … Today they won so the JJ ads were less painful (also I was channel surfing like a champ so that probably helped). Anyhow, this led to a NEW thought – dual ads! One set for when your team is doing well, in which you the celebrity in the ad can be cocky and funny and cool … and the other, for when your team is having an awful season, where you seem apologetic no matter what you are advertising.

Even though the Texans won today … I’m still going to post this because … I don’t have anything else prepared.

Oh ads, you create such natural seeming scenes.

I imagine that if you watch football, you’ve seen and heard quite a bit about JJ Watt. Both from announcers/various sports talking heads and from commercials that he’s in. I live in Houston, so I can tell you that I REALLY see a lot of JJ. I like him, I really do, and the ads aren’t bad. He hasn’t been phenomenal this season, but my expectations for him were a bit high (go figure).

But when you’re watching the Texans get stomped, and then it goes to commercial break and JJ Watt is talking to me about ice cream (for the local grocer HEB), JJ talking to me about Verizon, JJ about American Family Insurance, one KFC ad (the one ad that doesn’t feature JJ), and then you know who talking about Gatorade … Then it’s back to the game where the Texans either fail to do something good (meaning they’re on defense), or they do something awful (meaning they’re on offense) … It can be a bit much.

That’s why I think JJ Watt should do a set of local ads for honey. Some local beekeeper I guess. It’ll just be JJ Watt, in his uniform, in his locker room, and he looks at the camera sadly and says, “got a bitter pill to swallow? Yeah. Me too. Wash it down with this <honey brand> honey. Ok. I’m going to go cry for a bit now.”

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