The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Du Jour of the Week’

Let’s Talk About … Procedures!!

A well-known case of a daily procedure was Steve Jobs and his daily wardrobe (others are in this category, and it’s talked about some in this article). One of the ideas behind why a self-imposed ‘uniform’ of sorts is a good thing is because it saves brain power.

Famous people aren’t the only one who have their tricks and gimmicks to save mental energy (and probably it helps avoid mistakes too).

  1. My dad has the exact same nightly routine of grinding coffee beans and setting up the coffee machine so that he just has to push the Go button the next morning.
  2. When I shower I wash everything in the same order. (I started this in high school when I would be half-asleep when showering and realize I didn’t remember if I’d already washed my arms or my legs or whatever, so a set routine would answer that question because if I was on X body part it meant I’d already washed body parts Y and Z.)
  3. If I have to remember to take something to work I will put whatever items they are next to my wallet. When I inevitably just move the items out of the way and forget them (this happens half the time), the next day I put sneakers in front of my door and the items on top of those so I have to break out of my morning routine trance to move the items.

 

What about you, what are your little tricks/gimmicks/routines that keep your organized, efficient, and/or thinking less?

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Customer Support Tips & Tricks

You may have noticed when calling a lot of large corporations these days that the customer support has changed. In place of being connected straight away to a person, you answer a few automated prompts.

“Thank you for calling .. Comcast! Customer service is … important to us! Please state the reason for this call!”

That’s when you’re expected to say something like “bills” or “tech support” or “change plan” or who knows what else.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret – the system is even more complex and convoluted than you ever thought.

Here’s what they’re not telling you

You remember those old computer text prompt games? For example, Colossal Cave Adventure? In these games you received text descriptions and you responded to the game with a set of commands.

Modern customer service is actually an audio based version of a prompt game. If you’re not getting the help you deserve, try some of these shortcuts.

“Thank you for calling .. Comcast! Customer service is … important to us! Please state the reason for this call!”

“Search room”

“In front of you there is a gathering of inpatient customer service representatives. To your left you see a door that says ‘helpful people.'”

“Open door”

“The door is locked. You will now talk to our worst agent.”

Huh. That didn’t work. Ok, how about this.

“Thank you for calling .. Comcast! Customer service is … important to us! Please state the reason for this call!”

“Grab lantern”

“You are holding a lantern. There is an ON/OFF switch. It is currently OFF.”

“Turn on lantern”

“With the light you can now see that the entire room is full of clowns, laughing and pointing at you. You retreat in fear.”

“Stop retreating in fear”

“Command not recognized.”

“Flee room of my own volition”

“Command not recognized. Our worst agent is on the way to support you.”

Welp. I tried.

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Wedding Guest List Assumptions

I don’t know if you’ve gotten married, or graduated from high school or college, but for me those occasions are marked by one thing in common: sending announcements to people I don’t know because my mom told me to.

The announcements are sent not with the expectation of a person or family attending, but just as a “Hey check out it, we were friends once, and my son is older and things are going on in his life. Just FYI.”

Not that I would find this funny at that moment, but in retrospect I would really find it funny if something happened and NOT ONE person I have invited who I expect to be there actually shows up … But EVERY person I send an invite to not expecting to show up is in attendance.

Wouldn’t that be fun?

Me: “Hey thank you all so much for coming out and sharing this day with us! It means so much to see you here, um …”
My Mom (to me): “That’s Lisa. She drove me to the hospital when I was in labor with you.”
Me (to my mom): “Oh cool, so you guys have remained buddies?”
Lisa: “Which kid is this? This is your oldest?”
Me: “…Uh … Thanks for coming out Lisa!”

The fiancé: “Brad and I just want to thank you so much for being here! We’re so lucky to have so many people who are so important to Brad be here with us!”
My Mom (to Miss Fiancé and I): “That’s Kurt. When Brad had a see-saw incident and got one of his teeth stuck in his lip he was the admitting nurse. He had this really funny joke. What was it?”
Kurt: “What time is it? Tooth-hurty?”
My Mom: “…Oh, maybe he just says that all the time.”

Family: “Brad, we’re so happy to be here! We remember when you flooded our living room in an attempt to re-create a scene you saw from a commercial for GI Joes.”
Me: “Haha oh wow … Yeah, I am so sorry about that. Thanks for coming out – ”
Family: “We brought the bill for the water damage.”
Me: “Oh yeah, sure, my mom has it in her purse. She’s over there.”

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