DumbFunnery

It occurs to me that Hollywood may be seen as a place that lacks creative influx. That is shy the courage to be truly innovative or out there. There is noticeable reward for using tried and true ideas: those are where profits sit. But people fail to jump on board 100% because some people want to sit back and bash Hollywood for a lack of newness.

Don’t worry Hollywood, Joe Complainer, I’ve got everyone covered.

A Tarzan reboot (you’re welcome Hollywood) starring Will Ferrell as the title character (you’re welcome again Hollywood) BUT (you’re welcome creative-seekers) there’s a twist.

Instead of a boy being raised by apes in the jungle, this man was raised by porcupines in some weirdos backyard. One of those people who has a lot of animals and a big ranch.

The person, played by Will Ferrell, will be Johnathon P. Prickles, and boy will he ever be … prickly. I know, that joke was obvious, but I think a lot of people like obvious jokes.

This movie will have everything:

• Will Ferrell doing his sudden overreaction screaming thing even though it’s not that big a deal
• A grown man being prickly
• Baby porcupines in a rap battle with a baby Will Ferrell (CGI baby with Will Ferrell’s adult head)
• Betty White as the owner of this ranch
• An important lesson about drug addition (but don’t worry, there will be jokes that belittle alcoholism – you can’t be too sensitive)
• Partial male nudity (but only in the deleted scenes on the DVD, and it’ll be a gag reel of the director showing up on set naked)
• And that director’s name? Woody Allen