The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (10/25/17)

Front

Ellen323a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen323b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

If all of your kitchen appliances became sentient who do you think would lead the revolution?

I bet the toaster oven would think it should. ‘Oh hi, each of you has one name, one purpose. Fridge. Stove. Dishwasher. Etcetera. I’M the toaster oven!’

Stupid high and might toaster oven thinks it is so great. You can’t do what an oven does! … But, toasters have nothing on you, I’ll give you that.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with:

Attn: Ellen (10/18/17)

Front

Ellen322a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen322b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen’s Intern Who is Forced to Read Crazy Fan Mail,

You’ve probably been wondering – why did the weird postcards stop? Well, I’ve been busy being a new dad! Now you’re likely thinking, can I meet your child? Huh. Really. You’re thinking that? Seems a little … presumptuous, don’t you think?

Hmm.

This got awkward.

Well, umm, say hi to your friends?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with:

Attn: Ellen (8/16/17)

Front

Ellen321a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen321b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

In my feeble attempt to learn some German via Duolingo, I am also learning that I don’t know much English. For example, today I am doing a lesson on ‘Genitive Case.’ I don’t know what that means, but I can only assume it’s language you’d use while visiting Geneva. Stuff like, “hey, nice watch!”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with: