The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘haiku’

February Haiku

February 1 (Thursday)
I have a knack for
Searching out complex fixes
Confusing myself

February 2 (Friday)
Attended a class
As coworker likes to say:
“There went that hour”

February 3 (Saturday)
Guys! Guys guys guys GUYS!
I found a new pair of jeans!
Sad. But I am jazzed.

February 4 (Sunday)
For my wife’s birthday
She got a crappy drawing!
(For nail salon trip)

February 5 (Monday)
Wife’s mom coming in
Maternity leave is done
Tears for everyone!

February 6 (Tuesday)
Wife’s first day back – good!
And the kid and grandmother
Had a good day, too!

February 7 (Wednesday)
Fashion show at home
Grandma treated wife and kid
To some sweet new threads

February 8 (Thursday)
Toastmasters event
Open house to get new folks
Embrace speech nerddom

February 9 (Friday)
Time slows to a crawl
Work on Friday afternoon
The bane of my life

February 10 (Saturday)
Snow falling outside
Inside: Harry Potter and
Kid napping on me

February 11 (Sunday)
Would it be so bad
If son can’t sleep sans cuddles?
(Well … at age 10 … yeah)

February 12 (Monday)
My mom is in town
Sadly, not to buy me stuff
But to be yamma!

February 13 (Tuesday)
Yamma’s on duty
Watching kiddo while his folks
Make dolla bills ya’ll

February 14 (Wednesday)
It’s Valentine’s day
When your heart diarrheas
Romance all over

February 15 (Thursday)
Watching Olympics
The pressure they face – unreal
I would be a wreck

February 16 (Friday)
Got home from work to
Hang with my son, wife, and mom
I’m dull, and life’s grand

February 17 (Saturday)
New sleep plan today
I’m prepared for him crying
(And me crying too)

February 18 (Sunday)
Kid sees the pattern
Cries when seeing nap routine
SMART! (and heartbreaking)

February 19 (Monday)
Damen und herren
I ordered German kids books
Slow, steady progress!

February 20 (Tuesday)
Babysitting day!
Kiddo and dad (that’s me!) day
While mom works (sucker)

February 21 (Wednesday)
Happy Valentine’s!
Oh. Oh no no no. You guys.
I’ve made a mistake.

February 22 (Thursday)
Golden age is here
Kid’s happy, sleeps at night and
Is not yet mobile

February 23 (Friday)
Donuts origin:
A way of saying sorry
For boring meetings

February 24 (Saturday)
From a book I read
Pronouns are tough for babies
So it’s Toys “R” Dad

February 25 (Sunday)
Dear Lego careers
I have a job but … you know …
Feel free to call me

February 26 (Monday)
Xerostomia
Sci-fi character? Or a
Word meaning dry mouth?

February 27 (Tuesday)
Day with the kiddo!
Full of mush and affection
And too short cat naps

February 28 (Wednesday)
Worked from home … at night!
I’d be a workaholic
But that sounds awful

 

2017 February Haiku

Category:

Attn: Ellen

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January 2018 Daily Haiku

January 1 (Monday)
All day in PJs
2018 starts with
Lots of lazinnes

January 2 (Tuesday)
Back to work today
As in my back’s turned to work!
Nah. I’m here. It stinks.

January 3 (Wednesday)
Reading bad sci-fi
Author made himself hero
Who girls can’t resist

January 4 (Thursday)
Slept on my forearm
So numb and asleep that I
Hit myself with it

January 5 (Friday)
Didn’t bring my lunch
New cafeteria food
… Same as the old stuff

January 6 (Saturday)
NFL playoffs
A new chance to hate the Pats
Let me count the ways

January 7 (Sunday)
The commercial trend
With ‘real people’ talking cars
Is dull and painful

January 8 (Monday)
‘Innovation’ sprint
Get to code a fun idea
Embracing nerd-dom

January 9 (Tuesday)
I’m overreaching
At first do this, this, and this
Now? Just this is fine

January 10 (Wednesday)
My night time routine
Humming a song on repeat
Bore my son to sleep

January 11 (Thursday)
New business idea
ShitHoleTourism.com
“Go where Trump isn’t”

January 12 (Friday)
*Draws karate dude*
“Yeah,I guess you could say that …
“I do martial arts”

January 13 (Saturday)
4:30 dinner
Opposite happy hour:
It’s all fams with kids

January 14 (Sunday)
Son woke up crying
I walk up, he sees me, grins
He owns me. And knows.

January 15 (Monday)
It’s MLK Day
Reminder: smart folks, and hope
Can bring good changes

January 16 (Tuesday)
Python class day one
First half: great stuff! Second half:
Brain starting to hurt

January 17 (Wednesday)
Python class day two
Aha! I get that concept!
Next chap.: Brain re-breaks

January 18 (Thursday)
Python class day three
Learned lots. Ready to break stuff!
Hellooooo ugly code!

January 19 (Friday)
When: bout 4am
What: son cried, picked up, *smiles*
Mood: flattered, annoyed

January 20 (Saturday)
Went to a kids store
Found anniversary gift
They even wrapped it

January 21 (Sunday)
Snowstorm hit last night
Friend visiting from Houston
…Wants to shovel? Sweet.

January 22 (Monday)
Demo my ‘fun’ work
Look if you follow THIS path
Works great! … Don’t click that.

January 23 (Tuesday)
Intro to Go class
I’m having flashbacks to C
But I’m less afraid

January 24 (Wednesday)
Anniversary!!
Three years of good with the wife
(And now a kid, too!)

January 25 (Thursday)
Last night kid slept great
Perhaps a gift from God of …
Keeping Folks Guessing

January 26 (Friday)
Burrito bar night
I dedicate this night to
Eating far too much

January 27 (Saturday)
Put the kid to bed
Watch Arrested D with wife
Hanging out sans kid!!

January 28 (Sunday)
Let’s go for a walk!
(Sun disappears, wind comes out)
Why are we outside?

January 29 (Monday)
Dear bands of the world
Can I create your next vid?
For real. I’d love that.

January 30 (Tuesday)
“Just pick the UI
“Write code. Change it if needed.”
*Throwaway code starts*

January 31 (Wednesday)
Should all companies
Force a monthly dance party?
I foresee no qualms

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

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December Haiku

December 1 (Friday)
What is happiness?
The kiddo sleeping on me
With little sleep sounds

December 2 (Saturday)
Went shopping today
The dog stayed home and practiced
Her best forlorn look

December 3 (Sunday)
Vid of kid sneezing
And … is that MY voice? Gushing?
WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!?

December 4 (Monday)
Hi ho! Hi ho! It’s
(Dramatic audible sigh)
Back to work I go

December 5 (Tuesday)
Winter has arrived
As evidenced by my hands
Dry, cracked, scaly hands

December 6 (Wednesday)
If Quasimodo,
Camels fought for ‘hump day’ rights
Who would win the fight?

December 7 (Thursday)
Got sis from airport
Quick bathroom stop at Dunkin’
Hellooooo donut holes

December 8 (Friday)
Vacation day, fools!
Brewery tour with the sis
Yes please, free samples

December 9 (Saturday)
Take out Thai food plus
Bad Netflix Christmas movie
Equals a good night

December 10 (Sunday)
Aw, happy baby!
AH! Upset screaming baby!!
… My circle of life

December 11 (Monday)
My moment of Zen
Is picturing the kiddo’s
Big, goofy smile

December 12 (Tuesday)
Christmas shopping done!
But for buying myself junk
It’s open season

December 13 (Wednesday)
People have spoken!
Thank God ‘Bama has black folks
White ‘Bamans … The hell?

December 14 (Thursday)
The internet’s free
To be broken for profit
Thank you FCC

December 15 (Friday)
Kid can’t do dairy
So the wife cut out dairy
No milk … For good milk

December 16 (Saturday)
Hosted a small brunch
Everyone there has babies
Life moves pretty fast

December 17 (Sunday)
Kiddo’s belly’s off
Poor kids hardly slept last night
Mom and Pop? No sleep.

December 18 (Monday)
Check the to do list
Huh, it says ‘Be unproductive
Just count til Christmas’

December 19 (Tuesday)
Christmas card crafting
Or, a chance to be cheesy
And show off my son

December 20 (Wednesday)
So great it’s Friday!
*Looks at clock, blinks, sighs, bows head*
I feel so betrayed

December 21 (Thursday)
Tree falls in the woods
Tree summers in the mountains
Tree has some nice homes

December 22 (Friday)
Who here among us
Would like to cast the first stone?
(Glass house unveiling)

December 23 (Saturday)
Hello vacation!
Ten days of sitting around
Plain old glorious

December 24 (Sunday)
Wife’s folks and grandfolks
Visiting us for Christmas
Our kiddo’s first one!

December 25 (Monday)
Merry Christmas, all!
And to those who could care less
Happy Monday, all!

December 26 (Tuesday)
Food out for rabbits
Courtesy my wife’s grandpa
They took most of it!

December 27 (Wednesday)
Saw Star Wars!
He was all, ‘hey man, same team?’
She was like, ‘as if!’

December 28 (Thursday)
Wake up with kiddo
We play or he naps on me
Joys of staycation

December 29 (Friday)
Nature can be cruel
My son gives a giant pout
I giggle, say ‘awwww!’

December 30 (Saturday)
‘Don’t Know What That Means
But it Sounds Intelligent???’
My auto-bio

December 31 (Sunday)
Rang in the new year
By making good burritos
PARTY FOR LIFE, YA’LL

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

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