The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘ideas’

Christmas Shopping Help

Christmas is fast approaching and you’ve got some of your shopping done but you’re still missing gifts for a few people. And wouldn’t you know it, they’re the people who are the most difficult to buy for.

Don’t worry. We here at DumbFunnery have scoured the internet, obtained access to your emails, stalked your social media posts and know an alarming amount about you and your family. Not as much as Google knows about you, or Facebook, but still an unsettling amount.

Your Dad
Membership to the ‘Show Us You’re Nuts’ club which sends various nuts and inappropriate jokes every month

Your Mom
A punching bag, trust us, she needs this

Your Neighbor Who Did You That Big Favor and You’re Like, Do We Get Them Something?
A framed photo of you in a crop top

Your Brother-in-Law
A couple thousand dollars would save him from a broken leg, otherwise some good magazines to read in the hospital

Your Great Uncle Smimby
Monogrammed hand towels, and the nice thing is he’s not terribly concerned about if they are his initials or not

There you go, friends. Merry Christmas from us here at DumbFunnery.

Last Minute Halloween Ideas for a Group

It’s Halloween tomorrow, and you know what that means – brilliant last minute ideas from yours truly at DumbFunnery.com, your source for news, weather, celebrity gossip, and fashion advice.

This year I will focus on group costumes.

(You see, I’ve done this in the past as well:

Impressed? Eh, probably not.)

 

Idea 1

Do you have a twin or friend who looks a lot like you? Then have I got the idea for you! Be a glitch in the Matrix! Dress up the same, and whenever you go someplace, one friend will take turns following about 10 seconds behind the other friend. It’s subtle, it’s genius, and it’ll weed out the nerds because only they will get it.

Idea 2

Are you a really big guy, or a small woman married to a big guy? Also, that small woman should be pregnant. Still with me? Great. Be a turducken! The guy will dress up as a turkey, the woman dresses up as a chicken, and you just tell people your unborn baby is a chicken. And you get to spend the night walking around hugging each other constantly. Talk about quality time!

Idea 3

Are you one guy with a bunch of male friends who have been invited to a party but you just don’t know what to be!? Have no fear, my friends. Dress up as sperm! When you arrive to the party, everyone should immediately rush to the fridge and try to get eggs. I don’t know what you should do after you get the eggs, but something comical would probably be best. Also, for added humor, show up to the party early, like before it even really gets going.

Idea 4

Grab a bunch of pals and be … modern art! Separated from each other, you’ll look like just some person wearing plain clothes with splotches of paint all over yourself. But together!, you’ll look like a group of people who are wearing plain clothes with splotches of paint all over yourselves.

Idea 5

Are you a person? Do you have six friends? That’s wonderful! Now rate them in order. No no, of course they’re all equally close, but say only one of them could live – who would it be? Just kidding. Here’s the idea: dress up as the seven deadly sins! What fun! For an added bonus, call people you meet wenches and frumpelstiltskins and hedonists.

Ok friends, there are some great ideas. Have a wonderful Halloween and tweet pictures of the costumes I helped inspire to me @DumbFunnery and I’ll be sure to favorite it (unless you look weird).

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