The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘picture’

Eat This, Not That – Thanksgiving Edition

Existential Scales Are the Worst

Birthday Card/Sympathy Card/Congratulations on the New Baby Card

Do you have a friend with a birthday coming up? Or need to express sympathy? Or have a friend with a new kiddo? Not sure what to get your friend? How about start with a nice card – and I’ve designed just the card for you.



For birthdays – this card has led to a hug in 7 out of every 8 cases.

For sympathy – cathartic tears were cried 127% of the time (nearby people also began crying upon seeing this card, resulting in a percent of criers exceeding 100%).

For the new baby – it is not yet known what the effects of this card are, but go for it and let us know how it works.

Note: please DO NOT give this card as a congratulations on graduating gift. In 90% of test cases the recent graduate, upon receiving this card, became a carny. The weight-guessing kind of carny.

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