The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘quotes of the day!’

Quotes of the Day!

The following quotes are from Charles Bukowski’s Post Office. He’s a guy who was crazy about booze, women, gambling, and telling the tale of his passions. It was an entertaining read.

 

It was a very small town, the population, I believe, was under 2,000. The town had been picked by experts, in a national article, as the last town in the USA any enemy would attack with an atomic bomb. I could see why.

 

“We both ought to get jobs,” Joyce said, “to prove to them that you are not after their money. To prove to them that we are self-sufficient.”
“Baby, that’s grammar school. Any damn fool can beg up some kind of job; it takes a wise man to make it without working. Out here we call it ‘hustling.’ I’d like to be a good hustler.”
She didn’t want it.

 

I heard a voice:
“Hey! I smell fire!”
“YOU DON’T SMELL FIRE,” I yelled, “YOU SMELL SMOKE!”

 

 

Quotes of the Day!

About a year ago when I was in Georgia and Florida to try and see a NASA launch (and another post here) I saw this book.

You’re a Horrible Person, But I Like You. How could I resist? The book is a series of oddball advice column type questions, with responses from various famous funny people. Here are a few selections which made me laugh (I won’t be providing context, but the context is often nonsensical anyway so it doesn’t matter).

The book definitely has some laughs, but it wasn’t as funny as I’d hoped.

***

As for putting dinner on the table – let’s not sugarcoat this. You’re going to be living on roadkill. My advice would be “Always remove the squirrel’s tail.” That’s a memory of cuteness you do not want to conjure up as you raise the stick toward your mouth.

The better question is, “What happens before you die?” That’s where we run into most of the problems.

What’s that old saying? “Advice is like opinions. Everyone’s an asshole.”

Embrace it. Get an ironic RACIST T-shirt.

Let me be clear up front. Your letter reminded me why I hate all sitcoms about groups of friends. Now back to you. I must admit you sound like a really great friend.

Quotes of the Day!

I just finished reading Between the Bridge and the River by Craig Ferguson. I enjoy his show, and I had heard this book was good, but I didn’t know what to expect. It’s not something you’d see/hear on CBS, that’s for certain (so be aware) – BUT, it’s pretty good. I’m a sucker for stories with love and redemption, and this has both.

From Wikipedia, about the book,

“Ferguson has attributed the inspiration for the novel’s title to a conversation with a Jesuit priest about whether all those who commit suicide go to hell. According to Ferguson, the priest said that while suicide was a mortal sin, if someone were to jump from a bridge and genuinely repented of their action before they hit the river they would be forgiven. Ferguson interpreted this as there always being one last chance of redemption, which is the core of the adventures in the novel.”

Cool, right? Ok, now for the quotes.


Fraser’s mother, Janice, was actually quite a happy soul but she had to hide it because, like all pseudo-intellectuals, she thought being cheery made her look stupid, which of course she was for believing that rubbish in the first place.

Hillbillies are much maligned, as most of them place hospitality and kindness above cynicism and wit and therefore are deemed intellectually inferior by the cynical and witty who occasionally pass through their domain on the way to somewhere noteworthy and sophisticated. Hillbillies don’t mind this, of course, because they place hospitality and kindness above cynicism and wit and therefore the cynicism and wit of the cynical and witty is wasted on them. No real harm done.

“Cut me some slack here, I’m dying.”
“Ah yes, the victim excuse. Victim is where evil is born.”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake. I’m not evil.”
“I know. You are beautiful but you are afraid. You are in danger of committing little acts of evil.”
“Bloody hell,” sighed George. He was beginning to wonder if he could handle this kind of scrutiny. He was just beginning to wonder if he should get away from Claudette – then she leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

“You have deserted the realm of cynical reason, and there will always be a part of you that is suspicious of that. Debate is healthy, only evil does not question itself.”