The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘star wars’

Attn: Ellen (4/4/18)

Front

Ellen345a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen345b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

It’s the time of year where we must once again ask ourselves – am I the only one who sensed sexual tension between Vader and R2?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

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Attn: Ellen (6/1/16)

Front

Ellen263a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen263b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Here we see Luke getting a classic cold, detached, emotionless hero’s welcome. R2D2 beeps out, “I hope someone brought cheese because I know Luke brought a big ol bag of whine.”

Yes, another classic Star Wars moment!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (3/23/16)

Front

Ellen254a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen254b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I think the creator of the big Chewbacca toy, we’ll call her Susie, had an assignment to make this toy. She spent 3 days on his feet and legs, a day and a half on his chest, arms, and bandoleer … And 15 minutes on that weird, unsettling, creepy head.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. Don’t even get me started on poor mini-Bacca.

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (2/17/16)

Front

Ellen251a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen251b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

When I ran a marathon at the 16 mile mark I thought, with a lot of fear and trepidation, how much longer I had to go.

I guess internally I was having that classic R2-3PO struggle. So I said, “shut-uppa-you-dumb-brain” and I just kept trucking.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (12/16/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This week is not just about the new Star Wars movie – it’s also about arriving in style.

Will my wife approve of me painting my car to look like a land speeder? Probably not. Will I do it anyway?! Nah.

Anticlimactically,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (6/3/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

If I was that green guy I’d always be working on a Rubik’s Cube with my set of tiny arms.

Maybe Chewie has that look of fear/delight because he just saw an efficient Rubik’s Cube solution?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (5/13/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I bet if Darth Vader hadn’t been evil he would’ve been super evil. Using his Force powers to tickle people (instead of choking them to death). That slow, labored breathing as he stands 10 feet away … tickling you. Could it get more evil?!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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