Tonight and last night I helped my friend Rainbow Speak move. It was tiresome. Here are some highlights.
- I was carrying an arm full of big stuff to hang on walls, and a clock on top of them that is sliding around. I start walking down the stairs and stuff slides even more. Then a mosquito lands on me. That’s when I spazz out, have the clock sliding around and I’m trying to scare the mosquito away with noises and blowing my breath out. Classy.
- I carry a standing Ikea lamp out. Rainbow Speak says, “oh yeah! I carried the other one out and pretended it was a lightsaber!” And you know what? It is a lot of fun to carry that lamp and pretend it’s a giant lightsaber. I want to get one and put a green light bulb in it. Or red if I feel evil.
Be honest, did you look at the picture and make the “beejwooooooo” noise after that? (I don’t know how to spell the noise of a lightsaber coming on.)
- I grab a suitcase full of stuff and some item in a cloth covering. The item has a rather distinct handle.
Me, curiously: Uh, what is this?
Him, matter-of-factly: It’s a sword.
(So that he seems slightly less crazy, it was for his aikido class. It’s made of wood.)
- Rainbow Speak has a love of Monopoly. One night maybe about half a year ago I was hanging out with he and his then girlfriend. We made mixed drinks and played Monopoly City. Rainbow Speak was happy as could be. I was drink and saying, “let’s go out! I wanna go tell myself I’ll talk to chicks, then stand around and not talk to chicks and be upset with myself!” Rainbow Speak said sure, let’s just finish this game. … Motivated by that, after bringing stuff into his new apartment I said,
“Oh no, your Monopoly game fell out of your car. I saw it smashed to bits on the street.”
“What? … Really?”
He was genuinely concerned. I’m laughing maniacally while typing this.
- Oh yeah, and I put a really ugly sweater of his (from the ugly sweater night) in his freezer. Just for kicks.