The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘vacation’

Attn: Ellen (1/18/17)

Front

ellen292a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen292b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Another trip has come and gone and what do I have to show for it but wonderful memories, stories, experiences, and trinkets. Oh. That’s actually pretty good … I need to tell my brain to quit whining and embrace that I’m back home.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Perfect Preparation Makes Blah Blah

My wife and I, by the time you are reading this, will (hopefully) be back in Houston after a challenging but enjoyable 5 day hike. Or perhaps four and a half. But five sounds more impressive.

One of my wife’s concerns for this trip is the showering situation: there will be no showers.

For this trip my wife and I did lots to prepare. We drove to elevation in Texas (that’s no small feat), Big Bend National Park and we did a 15 mile hike that involved elevation gain and loss. The next day, in lots of pain, we settled for a four mile hike.

We’ve also got bug wipes, wet wipes, quick dry towels, fancy backpacks, giant water containers, and … cleaning wipes. These will be the substitute for showering. But what my wife doesn’t know is … I’ve been preparing for a lack of showers all my life:

  • After working out, even if it is drenched in sweat inducing, I will saunter about the homestead making dinner, chilling out, sometimes even going to sleep, all before showering (my wife has put a stop to that last activity because it is “gross”)
  • If, again, before marriage, I would come home and my apartment would reek I would be grossed out … and impressed
  • The summer my parents bought a house with a pool in the backyard I didn’t bathe for at least a week, possibly two … When the longest time between being in the pool and not being in the pool is 7 hours, who needs bathing? (Note: I was 18 at this time)

So, hopefully soon you’ll see some pictures from our trip, and hear about our adventures.

India Video

I was going to write about Udaipur today buuuuut … I’m feeling lazy. So here’s a video I made.

Del Mar, California

Del Mar California

Where the turf meets the surf, as song by Bing Crosby

 

Del Mar California 5

The tradition is that the horses are paraded past before their race time.

 

Del Mar California 4

What do you want to bet those houses are expensive?

 

Del Mar California 3

 

Del Mar California 1

It was cool getting close and hearing the thundering horses.

Rumors About Canada

My buddy Rainbow Speak is on his annual crazy vacation – he goes to Canada for about two weeks with some family members (dad, brother, that kind of thing) and they hike/canoe/fish/camp out. That’s it. Every day they wake up, break camp, hike/canoe to the next location, fish, and then cook that fish for food.

It sounds amazing and nutty.

Because of his upcoming trip to Canada I wanted to look up some information, and dispel rumors about our great neighbor to the north.

The Top 5 Canadian Rumors

1. In Canada you are not recognized as a citizen until you cut down your first tree.

FACT. Most Canadians have done this by the time they are three, so by the time they are adults they don’t even remember that this was a “big deal.”

2. Knock-knock jokes are not popular in Canada, not because they’re not funny, but because they imply that the door is not always open.

FACT. If there was a knock-knock joke, the second line would always be, “Come on in neighbor!”

3. The first time a serial killer was in Canada, it wasn’t until years after the killer was caught that Canadians realized this was a person who killed people, rather than someone who just really loved cereal.

MYTH. There has never been a human Canadian serial killer. The only serial killers in Canada are bears.

4. Maple syrup is used as a form of currency in Canada.

MYTH. They use paper bills and coins. No one would ever part with their currency if it was maple syrup.

5. In a dark room somewhere in Canada, an evil mastermind occasionally gets on a microphone and talks to a random selection of Canadians. This evil mastermind has the ability to talk to any Canadian, at any time. He simply asks the question, “what’s the first letter of the alphabet?” and Canadians answer seamlessly.

MYTH. The Canadian alphabet, like the Canadian people, is so friendly that the first letter of their alphabet is actually “eh plus.”

Back From California

Hello blogosphere, I am back! Here are a few reflections having returned from the great state of heavenly weather …

  • When I graduated from college I got a job in northern California and I had no idea how good I had it. The weather, San Francisco, the fresh fruits! Oh past self, I envy you your strawberries.
  • A relaxing vacation of doing nothing is a bit tough to have when surrounded by six nephews and nieces.
  • One day, I would NOT like to have six children. That is an easy realization.
  • Going for a long relaxing walk on a pier is enjoyable. Seeing that a fisherman caught a 5 or so foot long shark at the end of the pier is cool (sharks are neat to look at). Going into the ocean the next day and trying to calculate the distance between you and where the shark was caught is a bad frame of mind to be in.
  • Watching a baby try a lime for the first time is pretty entertaining.
  • Staring at a different baby covered in sand is mind-boggling. How are you so comfortable? I would be miserable … Wait are you EATING SAND? Oh gosh!, no!, gross!, EW!
  • Legoland and the San Diego Zoo are magical places, assuming you can afford the admission cost.

 

Good job California! Keep up the good work!

2 Weeks of G’Day

I’m heading to Australia today! So … I’ll see you in about two weeks!

 

If you miss me dearly, you can hit the ‘Why Not’ button over to your right to check out a random post. Come on, do it!

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