The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

I’m trying to get back into jogging. After I finish a few things I’m heading out to jog! The weather is awesome out – so how can I not go jogging right now? But really, there’s a Papa Johns by me which means I eat Papa Johns regularly now because MAN that smells so good.

3/29/10

Get FIT!

OK self, you can do this
No … not strong enough, you CAN DO THIS!

Mentally psyched? Check.
Physically psyched? Not check.

Every time I think about starting to work out
I think about that vacation in 4 weeks and how that’ll cause a productivity drought
“I’ll be in the swing of things, then vacation will derail me!” I pout,
‘Working out will just have to be put off’ I think, ‘about it there is no doubt.’

I shake it off and think, no, no, you can do this
That’s right – you CAN DO THIS!

Oh wait, my sneakers are in such bad shape
I’ll get blisters and then my foot I’ll have to tape
You see, that’s yet another plausible escape

Forget that! bring on a wicked blister!
Well … No … Don’t bring on a wicked blister
But bring on the workout, no more excuses, mister!/ (not to be sexist)sister!

Yes, I’m shaking it off – I know I can do this
Yeah, I said it, I said I know I CAN DO THIS!

My workout clothes on, I’m starting to stretch
I feel gross already. Does jogging go with a lunch of tex-mex?

Ignore the voices inside my head
Also, ignore my body which is thinking of my bed
My comfortable, comfortable, non-judgmental bed …

No! Stop that! who can do this?
Um? … I? … Can do this?

Uh oh, I’m losing steam
Would taking a nap in work-out clothes be some gym-rat blaspheme?

Quiet, self, picture rock hard abs!
Then picture me being in decent enough shape to date someone with rock hard abs!

I guess … yeah … I guess you can do this?
Yeah! … yeah! … I can probably do this!

I’m out the door, no more thinking!
(Plus I’ve decided my reward for this ‘workout’ will be that buffet for all-you-can-eating-and-drinking)
Yes, dear self, work out some then you can make yourself into stuffing

400 calories burned!
2000 calories earned!!!

Yeah, I can do totally do this
Eyes on the prize and I CAN DO THIS!

Oh sweet Lord what is that glorious smell?
Every neighbor is out cooking – burgers, steak, pizza! – this is hell

You’re taunting me, world
My plan you want unfurled!

Quick, run away from those … do I smell a bakery? … NO! I CAN DO THIS!
I think I’m … yes … I’m actually doing this!

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Comments on: "De Jour of the Week (3/29/10)" (5)

  1. You don’t know how many naps I have taken in work out clothes. Probably more naps than work outs these days. Ahhhhh, but it’s the thought that counts, no?

    Another good one, dumbfunnery!

    -Gigi
    xxx

  2. I’d empathize, but that seems like too much work.

    • DumbFunnery said:

      haha I want that on a t-shirt … and then no one will talk to me except people like me … wait … this could be bad

  3. I kept hearing the “LIttle Engine that Could” as I read this…and chuckled my way through your lines….I really enjoyed this poem.

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