The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Remember the Charmin commercial? The toilet paper the cartoon bears used?

I know I’m strange, and I latch onto odd things – but this commercial really bothered me. I was going through old notebooks and I found a tiny thing I wrote about this.

Check it out.

Charmin Bears Can’t … Bear It

These bears have bits of toilet paper ALL over their, you know, rear end type “areas” – and I say “area” because they have no parts down there. They’re all Barbie-fied. You know, no Capital City. So these Charmin bears can’t go to the bathroom AND they can’t have sex.

Here’s how I imagine a conversation going between two of these Charmin bears:


“Hey, morning.”

“Morning.”

“So … whaddya wanna do today?”

“I don’t know – DIE! I’ve gotta go to the bathroom SO BAD.”

“Oh no …”

“What?”

“I just realized mating season is coming up …”

“GOD! As though I’m not irritable enough!”

“Did you say irritable?”

“Well, not like … not like THAT …”

“…”

“Where’s that kid bear?”

“Probably out ripping up toilet paper and gluing it to his fur.”

“I swear, if that kid doesn’t have A learning disability he has two.”

Comments on: "Charmin Bears Can’t … Bear It" (1)

  1. At least with Winnie the Pooh, he had those seems in the back he could pop out any time he felt the urge.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: