The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘sadness’

Charmin Bears Can’t … Bear It

Remember the Charmin commercial? The toilet paper the cartoon bears used?

I know I’m strange, and I latch onto odd things – but this commercial really bothered me. I was going through old notebooks and I found a tiny thing I wrote about this.

Check it out.

Charmin Bears Can’t … Bear It

These bears have bits of toilet paper ALL over their, you know, rear end type “areas” – and I say “area” because they have no parts down there. They’re all Barbie-fied. You know, no Capital City. So these Charmin bears can’t go to the bathroom AND they can’t have sex.

Here’s how I imagine a conversation going between two of these Charmin bears:

“Hey, morning.”


“So … whaddya wanna do today?”

“I don’t know – DIE! I’ve gotta go to the bathroom SO BAD.”

“Oh no …”


“I just realized mating season is coming up …”

“GOD! As though I’m not irritable enough!”

“Did you say irritable?”

“Well, not like … not like THAT …”


“Where’s that kid bear?”

“Probably out ripping up toilet paper and gluing it to his fur.”

“I swear, if that kid doesn’t have A learning disability he has two.”

Armed Forces Bowl 2010: SMU v Army

On Thursday December 30th at 11 am Army played SMU in the Armed Forces Bowl. The bowl is ordinarily held at TCU’s stadium in Fort Worth, but they were busy being lame (TCU is SMU’s rival – I can’t resist) … so the game was instead held at SMU.

My parents decided that since SMU is my alma mater, and Army (aka The United States Military Academy) is my dad’s – we’d go see the game and visit Dallas.

SMU v TCU, September 10, 2005 – TCU was ranked and we beat them

For every bit of crazy I look, I was that happy about SMU beating TCU. It was a good day.

SMU v Army? Not a good day.

I was surrounded by Army fans

And … SMU lost … to a bunch of Militants

(“Raise your hand if you eat bullets.”)

SMU fans string up dummies of our own players … that’s encouraging??

SMU’s mascot is a mustang … but come on buddy …

On the plus side, Lt. Dan was there performing

And a fish-man scared me



And Pony Up!

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