The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘commercial’

Attn: Ellen (6/17/15)


Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I just realized a new nightmare scenario – living in a world full of commercials people. Athletes intensely working out and dripping sweat, people unwilling to accept such low! prices!, cars zooming by, eerily happy ethnically diverse groups drinking beer, and the local commercial types shout talking everything at an incredibly fast rate. It’s a subtle nightmare, I know, but it’s a nightmare.

Sincerely, OR

Why am I doing this?

Feeling Lazy

Heya folks, I am feeling lazy today so I present you with … Pure evil! In the form of, a species-hating warmonger more commonly known as … The Chaquita Banana!

Don’t ask me to explain why she’s a warmonger, she just seems kind of evil.

Woah! Unexpected Commercial News!

I just learned something CRAZY … but, you know, it kind of makes sense.

Apparently 97% of commercials featuring a weirdly, over-the-top-happy family (you know, the kind where you think, ‘really product? This is ridiculously obvious’) … Well, apparently … Those aren’t actors. In fact, the people don’t even know they’re being filmed.

It’s just old home movies from random Mormon families.

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