The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

I wake up and it hits me – I need a girlfriend. Why am I doing a ONE HUNDRED FIFTY MILE BIKE RIDE?! I look at my phone and there’s a text from Rainbow Speak, it simply says: 

Yup, it’s game time. Day one of the BPMS150.

I have been training for this for a while … but the longest bike ride I’ve done is a 2 hour one. One weekend I did a two hour ride on Saturday, and then another on Sunday. Both were maybe 25 miles.

That’s not quite 150 miles.

My friend and I are starting from the easiest starting gate (at the recommendation of the instructors from our class). That means it’s 76 miles the first day.

Here is what the first day looks like in terms of miles …

Now for what I predict my thoughts will be …

Mile 0 – Holy crap holy crap what WHAT WHAT?! There are so many people! So many stupidly bright jerseys!! Good GOD why am I HERE!

Mile 1 – GAHHHHH I HATE PEOPLE! SO … MANY … PEOPLE!

Mile 5 – Ok … this isn’t too bad. I think I can do this.

Mile 10 – Daaaaang I’m already at 10 miles! Nice! Not bad at all! I actually enjoy biking!

Mile 11 – Ok what the hell was I thinking I still have like 140 miles to go. This is terrible.

Mile 15 – I already want to take a nap. I can’t be the first one to ask for a break though … I wonder how tired Rainbow Speak is … maybe I should accidentally punch him in the leg.

Mile 24 – Which part of my body doesn’t feel uncomfortable right now? Oh right. None of them.

Mile 27 (if I’m reading that right) – Sweet! Lunch time!

Mile 28 – Ooooof why am I incapable of not shoveling food in my pie hole? It’s gonna be slowwww going.

Mile 40 – I’ve done 40 miles and I’m still not even 1/3rd done. This is impressively upsetting.

Mile 47 – Oh crap I didn’t put on sunblock. I am going to have the dumbest sunburn ever.

Mile 58 – MY GAMS IS KILLIN’ ME!

Mile 59 – Haha … gams …

Mile 66 – (Singing this song in my head) …

Mile 72 – Oh frick I just swallowed another bug.

Mile 76 – Ok … first day done … I made it … OH YEAH FREE BEER!

(Seriously, there’s free beer at the end of day one!)

Comments on: "MS150 Predictions – Day 1" (1)

  1. Free beer? That’s worth all the miles right there.

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