The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (3/27/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres toast

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres toast

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I bet you didn’t expect to see adorable, self-aware toast today, did you!?

Sounds like a certain somebody owes another certain somebody a visit on their talk show!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. I don’t have a show, so … you know … you’ll have to host …

Why am I doing this?

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