The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (9/24/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

There are very few things that inspire as much irrational, crazy thinking for me as killing a spider. As I go to fetch my shoe I picture a cliche karate scene where young spiders swear vengeance for their master.

Then again, prove me wrong, science!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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