The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Attn: Ellen (7/1/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

If I was a former child star who saved well, once every 7 years I would book a hotel ballroom/convention area, emphasizing that I need the room for all my fans. Then, I’d sit in there alone, surrounded by ceiling fans, box fans, etc. Eventually some hotel PR person would stop by and be so weirded out they’ll want to switch jobs.

Now that’s what I call liven’!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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