The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for September, 2016

Here’s the Thing

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The lady of the house and I chit chatted a bit after visiting some friends. They had hanging on their walls some neat things they had drawn and I thought, “hey, I could do that too!” I saw this cartoon online and was inspired – I’ll draw the same! Perfecto. It’s a pun, it’s dorky, and it is not too shabby a drawing!

The problem is, this is the limit of my skill set. Another drawing I wanted to do was a bear on his hind legs with a hand over his face, and under it’ll just say ‘unbearable.’ Dorky, I know, but that’s the idea. I spent some time trying to draw a bear and …

Now I’m trying to think of dorky puns that can be jokes in the form of a drawing, and they have to be simple at that. A tall order, my friends.

If you’ve got an idea, please feel free to share it with me!

Attn: Ellen (9/7/16)

Front

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Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

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The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Tomorrow from 7-8 am I have a Toastmaster’s meeting. Since we meet during breakfast time I’m going to make toast then carefully and evenly spread peanut butter and jelly on both sides. I’m going to carefully drive to the meeting with my toast, enter the room, feign sadness, and say “I don’t deserve to be here.” It’ll be a riot!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. How many toast puns til I get kicked out?

Why am I doing this?

Deep Thoughts About Bad Movies

I really enjoy bad movies. A lot of movies, even good ones, are predictable, but bad movies take that predictability and add to it an element of surprise … making them a little unpredictable. A movie that is bad enough won’t follow that same tired trope, because that would be a logical plot that wouldn’t have plot holes. No, a bad movie doesn’t care about plot holes, doesn’t care about ridiculous chance encounters that are there just for one bad joke.

And, with bad movies, I don’t mind paying minimal attention to the movie. I’m confident I’m not going to miss out on anything.

Bad movies are great.

One thing I like about bad movies is the actors themselves. I have all kinds of questions for those people. Were you aware of this movie being this bad while you made it? Were you excited nevertheless? What age range makes you angry to be in a bad movie? For young actors and actresses, they are probably excited to be in a movie, bad or not, and they think THIS, THIS is what will get me noticed for a GOOD movie. Older actors and actresses might think, sweet heavenly goodness, PAYDAY! Unless they are older and used to be in productions that were good. But lets say someone has been in a few bad movies and now they find themselves in another one, they’re still young but … reality is beginning to set in. What an angry cast mate that person would be, huh? And which character is the angriest? Is it the dorky guy as comic relief? Is it the heroine, the hero? The antagonist?

Which scene was most painful to film?

I know it’s a cruel thing to enjoy, wondering at someone’s hopes and dreams and sadness and anger while portraying some predictable character … but I root for all those people. Sometimes, if I’m really bored, I’ll even look for interviews of those people on shows or to see if they’ve made it to anything nicer.

Here’s to you, bad movie stars.

Kick back on this Labor Day, and enjoy a bad movie (or two) while cooking up some grub!