The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for the ‘Attn: Ellen’ Category

Attn: Ellen (1/20/16)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

My wife and I have lived in Colorado a few weeks now and I have learned the difference between me looking normal vs. me looking like I am dying from the inside out is forgetting to put lotion on just one day before leaving for work.

I think Colorado’s atmosphere might be sponsored by the lotion industry.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (1/13/16)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Theoretically, everyone knows what a bat out of hell sounds like.

What I’m wondering is, what does a bat out of heaven sound like.

Please get back to me ASAP.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (1/6/16)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

A new home but the same old postcards! And in case you forgot … I like writing nonsensical things, silly things, and sometimes sincere things. What I would really like is to do this on a bigger scale than my blog, and why not ask you for help?

That’s all! Just wanted to say that and a “Rocky Mountain hi” … get it?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?