The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for the ‘Du Jour of the Week’ Category

Disney Princes and Their Kinks

  • Guy from Cinderella – feet
  • Guy from Sleeping Beauty – let’s not get into that
  • Guy from Little Mermaid – girls who, when they laugh, sound kinda like a dolphin
  • Guy from Rapunzel – you know that thing where you get a haircut but you never get rid of the hair instead you build like a little home? This guy knows allll about that
  • Guy from Beauty and the Beast – rumor has it when he was first turned into a “beast” he thought, “sweet, I’ll weed out the weird girls who aren’t into animals” … but then I guess he realized, as a beast, how much more difficult it was to use toilet paper so he was a little fed up with the idea of being a beast at that point
cinderella-glass-slipper

Hey girl, lemme see those feet … Awwwyissss

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Things I Did Before Thinking to Watch the Pro Bowl

  1. Had a contest against myself to see how much celery I could eat (24 minutes)
  2. Made toast using my glasses and the sun instead of the toaster, just cuz (3 hours)
  3. Went to a music store and practiced the triangle until I was kicked out (4 minutes)
  4. Called everyone with the last name Quimby that I could find a number for online, then when they answered I would do my best Mayor Quimby impression and say, “I, err, ahh, wrong num-bay-er” (2 hours)
  5. Wrote this blog post (time stood still)
P.S. The Pro Bowl was on yesterday, everybody!!

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Dinner With Strangers

Tonight my wife and I are heading out to dinner with a group of strangers. This group of strangers was found using Meetup.com. We knew (and a friend giving advice also emphasized this) that it would be important for us to get out there and try to be social right away … or we could easily fall into the trap of just hanging out with each other.
So! What will tonight bring? I can tell you what it won’t bring: privacy.
We recently watched an episode of the Morgan Spurlock show Inside Man (he’s the dude that did Super Size Me). The episode was about just how much of your information is out there, available for consumption by parties you would never know about or assume had your information (and they’re selling it for a profit to boot).
Motivated by this somewhat shocking but then again not-shocking-at-all episode, I decided to do some intense online research on our future dinner guests.
Here are some topics that might come up at dinner:
  • Tom, why do you like to google shoes so much? I noticed that you have only bought 2 pairs in the past year but you google specific women’s shoes on average seven times a day.
  • Barb, did the cops end up figuring out it was you that bumped into the car in the mall parking lot?
  • Lisa, I notice you’re drinking wine. Is it one that pairs well with your surprisingly weird obsession with Alf?
  • Joseph, you were adorable as a baby. I used Zazzle to make a photo album of you growing up, would you like a copy?
Wish us luck at dinner!!

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